Drawing the Line: Setting Boundaries with Clients

And I think here, too, is that, like, you know, there. Every situation, like, even though that this did not transpire to a true closed transaction, like, you sit back, reflect, and see, what did I like, what did I not like, what could I done better, right? Like, and it's not better as in like you did anything wrong. It's just reviewing back, like, okay, what if I now implement my. These are my expectations, or this is what you're. You can expect from me right up front. And, and maybe too, and I don't know if it's in your buyer consult, but printing out examples of the contract right up front and putting it in there so that they have that. And so then when times come to, you know, negotiation or writing or whatever else, you at least have given them the. The resources right at their fingertips. And it's. If something like this were to happen, it's not because of you, it's really because of them. And you want to try to find those identifying factors. Welcome to the Leading Lane podcast for Real Estate Pros by Real Estate Pros, with your hosts, Ashley Frederick and Stephen Burch. If you're looking for an honest, authentic, and raw perspective, you found it. Welcome back, everyone, to Leading Lane. We're glad that you're here with us today. So I think today we're going to talk about something that happened recently in my office. So a lot of times I like to pull out things that we're dealing with because I think other people can relate and maybe not feel like they're the only ones that are dealing with some craziness. But we had an agent in my office that let her clients know that she was going to be gone on Saturday, but that she'd squeeze them in in the morning for showing, but just, you know, kind of give them a heads up that if they wanted to write an offer, it would have to be likely on Sunday or like a zoom or virtually. And they said that was completely fine. So she goes ahead and shows the property on Saturday morning, and then, lo and behold, they wanted to write an offer, which was great. However, she was already on her way out of town, like she had told them. So she told them that she could either do it over a phone call with them to make sure she went over all the terms of the offer, or she could do a zoom call with them while she was in the car with her family. And they turned both those down and said that they were only willing to meet with her in person. You know, so she reached out to me as far as what she should do. And I just said, you know, it's unfortunate that they couldn't do zoom or phone call because it's more or less the same exact thing instead of a, you know, what signature. And then I advised that maybe another agent in the office could, you know, help her. But at this point in time, it was, you know, two o' clock on a Saturday, and unfortunately, like, a lot of us already have plans or are out of the area, just never know. So she asked the group, and most people, you know, weren't available. Almost everyone, including this agent, told that couple, you know, that they'd be available on Sunday. There were no other offers on the property. There was no rush, if you will, as far as needed a certain time requirement to get in. And in the meantime, the buyers wrote back and requested to be let out of their buyer agency agreement since she would not make time to meet with them. And I think the agent was pretty, pretty upset in that, you know, they've looked at other properties, they put some time into it. She was upfront with them to begin with. You know, I think she felt like maybe it was her fault that she had to leave. I think that we, as agents, it's a hard, it's a fine line, right? Like, we want to help our clients, but like, there's also, like real life. I, you know, I talked to her about it and I was like, well, what if you were at a funeral? Like, were you supposed to, like, I got to leave the funeral because somebody wants to write an offer? I mean, like, it's just not reality. The other part of that was, you know, the, the buyer just wrote back and said, like, what a shame that your office was unwilling to help you. And it speaks volumes. She told someone else that she was going to make sure that no one else in the town worked with next home. You know, I just. Craziness, if you will. And I think it was just important to talk about because again, I think agents take that personally and especially when you're a newer agent, like, yeah, you want transactions, like, you want a payday. But, you know, I talked with her a lot about, like, this is a prime example of. This is literally probably the best thing that could have happened and that you got out of it sooner than later. And I know that that's really tough. And I remember when I started in real estate, I probably stuck on with some people much longer than I should have. And through time, you realize that your mental health is more important. You know, I even said to her, like, I'm not going to Allow a client to treat my agent that way. Like, that's not acceptable in any way, shape or form. Like, and I get, you know, you look back to Covid, and I mean, like, we were all stupid crazy, right? Like, we all would work 24 hours a day. And, you know, those were when you had to write an offer in the first 24 hours. But. Right. People were typically like, yes, like, we could do it online because we know how quickly it has to work. So I think it's just important that agents do need to 1. You know, we talked about making sure that the expectations were set from upfront, which they had a packet that they went over. But being able to recognize when someone's trying to take advantage of you and is not, you know, understanding of time or how it works. I just think when people start to badmouth or say condescending things in a conversation with you, like, I mean, I'm sorry, but it's time to cut that cord. And I can guarantee you that there is someone else right behind them that will value your time and appreciate what you have done for them. So what would you have done in that situation? That's a lot to freaking unpack, right? Like, there's so many different dynamics with that. I mean, I completely agree, like your, Your mental health. And if they're going to act this way now, imagine how they're going to act and make you feel in a transaction. And, you know, our emotions involved in type of purchases. Of course, you know, we're here kind of to be that shield, but we're not here to be that punching. And I think that it's super important to make sure that we don't run after every single thing and make. Allow these people to make us feel this way, because I think that's where that. That guilt, you know, when I first started, and I think you as well, like, you would run for everything and doesn't matter, and then these type of people would say something and know we would bow down. And I would. I mean, I. I left a family reunion on July 4th one time because somebody kind of did the same thing to me. Well, it's a. I needed the deal. I didn't want to disappoint them. I'm new, right. I'm running after all these things, so. But that's not fair. That's not fair to me. That's not fair to my family. That's not fair to your agent nor to her family. And what their plans were already were. They're. I mean, it boils down to that respect that the, the boundaries aspect of things and then that's kind of like a narcissistic behavior, you know, turning that around of I'm sorry that your office, you know, isn't helping you or you know, however they worded that, you're not going to turn that around. This, this thing to, to do with that. You know, I think there's a couple things there too. Like, you know, in our, our contract we have a protection period. So if you want out of the buyer agency, that's great. But these are the properties that I showed you. And so if you write and you know, successfully close on any of these properties, typically we either have a 90 or 120 day period, then I'm entitled to my compensation. So because I did what I was supposed to be able to do. So I think that you know, kind of pushing back on people sometimes, like even though that it's confrontation and maybe feels a little bit uncomfortable like because, because you are standing your ground, because you are, are showing exactly what they have already assigned and agreed to. Like sometimes they're like, oh shit, like I can't push this, you know, push the buttons. Kind of look at it like little kids, right? Like they, they want see how far they can push the buttons and then as soon as they get in trouble then they'll be like, whoop, that's a little bit too far. I need to back it up a little bit. So I think it's kind of that same concept. Like you have to show them that these are the rules, these are the, what you agree to, this is what it is up front. And if you don't like it, toodaloo. I don't, I mean, sorry, I'm not gonna run after you. So I think the other thing, you know, to what would I do differently? Or how could I position this a little bit differently? I remember writing out contracts before I even went to the property and yeah. Did I do the work up front? Like, yeah. Did I get a deal every single time from that? No. But I at least had the packets back then. I had them printed out like and would write in the price or write in those additional terms. But even then you can only prepare so much because we don't know what property they're going to move forward. We don't know those types of terms and conditions that are going to be on there. But if somebody in this day and age doesn't feel that you can do, you know, DocuSign or whatever the E Signature platform is after you've already went through your buyer console and went through all of the terms there and understanding and educating them. I think it was more probably a power trip than it was truly a. Like, you're doing something wrong. I mean, she didn't do anything wrong at all. Right. Well, I mean, a lot of times, right. Like, just people's schedules don't work. So a lot of times I'll draft the whole entire offer, like how we discussed it, and then I. I actually sent it to them as a separate email so they. So they don't have the ability to sign it. And then I will be like, hey, let's review everything. And then I'll call them and we'll go page by page. Like, they're looking at the same exact thing I am. And then they say, yep, then I will put it through for them to sign. Or. Right. Maybe there's a change that we figured out that they wanted to add or whatnot. And so, you know, there. That still serves like you're doing the same exact thing that you're doing in person. Right. And I think that they weren't even willing to do that. Right. So it's not that. Even if your agent were to do all of that up front like that, still, the point being is they weren't even willing to. To have that and. Or entertain that option because they want to do it face to face in the office. That's it. And I think that that's maybe even, you know, something I'm going to talk to her about. As far as that buyer consult, Right. Like, as far as the expectations, maybe that wasn't addressed and maybe that's something as a learning point that we could talk about. Like, hey, there might be opportunities or situations where I can't necessarily meet you in person, but I will do the same exact thing. We'll have everything. We can talk through the phone, you can ask any questions, and you can sign electronically. And I think, again, like, if we can prepare people to maybe have that, if that situation were to come up, maybe they would feel better about it. This situation, I don't think it would have mattered, but I think, you know, I told her too. Like, it's just there's always learning lessons and everything that you do, you know. But also, again, it goes back to just for me, it's like sometimes with some clients, I just feel it in my gut. Like something's just not. Not right. Or, you know, there's a condensating comment and I just look at it. I'm like, nope. Like, I don't. That can be someone else's headache. I time, you know. And I think they made a comment about like we know our rights as a buyer, you have to draft this. And yeah, I mean she's willing to, but just not under the circumstances. So I think it's just important for people to not always cave or you know, we talk about those boundaries and being readily available and it's not healthy to be available at like literally every beck and call. It's, you know, I try to think about other industries and it's not really the norm in like any other industry. You know. Like you think like even doctors, right? Like sure they might be on call but like they know they're on call that day so they purposely don't make plans, you know. So it's just, I'm sure military is, you know, that's one whole different thing that, that's a never plan for that. But like just think about normal jobs and it's not common that people have to just drop what they're doing to be able to help someone. No. And you have to learn that with time I think sometimes right. Or it took us time to, to learn that. But hopefully people see and recognize that like you don't have to go through that, that turbulence and the headache and the suffering through that. Like now is the time to. And you, you already made this comment like it's set setting the expectations right up front. So I think it's that self discovery that you have to do. Like what are your non negotiables? Like are you not willing to leave a funeral? Okay, put that on your non negotiable list. You're not willing to leave your family reunion. Okay cool, put that on there. And I know it sounds like easy but like when that actually happens and you have those expectation talk right up front in that buyer consult and then you know they say something's, you know, you have to drop everything right now for me that's going to be on your non negotiable or eventually like when you learn that I did not like that. So I'm going to put that on my non negotiable list and I'm not going to allow that to happen, you know, in the future. And I think here too is that like you know, there every situation like even though that this did not transpire to a true closed transaction. Like you sit back and reflect and see what did I like, what did I not like, what could I have done better right? Like and it's not better as in like you did anything wrong it's just reviewing back like, okay, what if I now implement my, these are my expectations or this is what you're. You can expect from me right up front. And maybe too, and I don't know if it's in your buyer consult, but printing out examples of the contract right up front and putting it in there that they have that. And so then when times come to, you know, negotiation or writing or whatever else, you at least have given them the, the resources right at their fingertips. And it's. If something like this were to happen, it's not because of you, it's really because of them. And you want to try to find those identifying factors as early on in the relationship as you possibly can. And I think as you learn to work with people and you can, you know, fill those senses and that intuition, I really think that you get better as you evolve. And I think that's when also you can slam dunk your buyer agency, you know, your buyer console. It's super freaking easy. And you're going to start identifying your ideal customer pretty freaking quickly. And I think the more that you can clarify and identify those types of things is really when the universe, the energy, those type of people start flocking to you, right? So, yeah, the other thing I thought about two was, you know, it's hard because real estate can change on a dime, right? Like, there can be a price reduction one day and then someone wants to see it the next day. You know, the only other thought is that, you know, maybe if, even though there wasn't necessarily planned for anything going on that weekend, like maybe if that agent knew that they were going to be gone to ahead of the time, talk to somebody about like, hey, I have a couple buyers that are looking. I'm going to be gone on this day. You know, so that potentially could have been planned differently as far as someone being available. Right? But that's hard because you've had this plan we all know, like, not, I mean, like there can be nothing going on in real estate. And then all of a sudden, like seven listings come on on Friday, right? And so, like, of course you wouldn't have made any plans because there was no listings available at that time. So I think that that's hard. But I think we also just, you know, again, like, we just have to remember that it's, it's just not always going to work out how we had it planned. And that doesn't mean you did anything wrong or that you're not a good human. It just in the big picture, I just feel it wasn't meant to be. Yeah. So yesterday we had a situation in our office. You know, the. Our agent. I was actually here listening to the conversation, overhearing some of the conversation she was going over, you know, by our agency and talking about the changes ever since the NAR lawsuit in August and, you know, all of these different things. And she set up the. The appointment the next day. The next morning, she went to the property, and they met them, met her there. And she pulled out the buyer agency, the touring agreement. And this buyer threw an ever living fit. He was like, I'm. I don't like this. I don't like it at all. Blah, blah, blah, I don't want to sign. And she was like, you know, we went over this on the phone, blah, blah, blah. And she really explained. She's great at explaining all of the. What. What's going to happen in the transaction. And then he goes, well, the last agent that showed me a house yesterday didn't require me to sign anything. And she was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I asked you yesterday if you're working with another agent, and you said no. And B, that's illegal. Like, you. They can't just go out showing you all these properties without a, either a touring agreement or the buyer agency agreement or some. Whatever it is within your. Your market. And he was like, nope, this is completely ridiculous. Blah, blah, blah. Eventually, he signed because she was like, let's just make it for today for this property only. So when she got back to the pro, back here to the office, you know, she was heated up a little bit, and I was like, look, is there anything that you could have done differently? And, you know, she's like, no, I explained everything. I did all this. And I said, I'm not saying that you did anything wrong. Is there just anything that you could have done differently to maybe prevent this from happening? Showing up and then this happening. And finally she came to like, well, I could have sent the Turing agreement or the buyer agency the night before and made him sign it. And before we even scheduled or before we even went, I said exactly. Like, you just now wasted your time this morning. You know, yes, it's only 30, 45 minutes, but here you are now, here's your energy that you are all worked up over all of this. And, you know, it's tough because sometimes we pay for. For liens, and yes, we want to meet the people in person, but we could have had the. The people, the buyers come in and do a buyer consult in person. You know, there's so Many different other things that we could have just tweaked a little bit to save your time and energy and effort. And at the end of the day, asked her, I was like, is this the type of person you truly want to be able to help? She's like, no, not at all. Not the way that he, he know he was, he was acting. And I said, imagine if you were in the negotiations for inspections or something were to happen after they close. Like who are they going to lash out at? It's you like just because you allowed it that they know that that's the way that, you know, they are allowed to treat you. So I think it's great that sometimes these things happen just from a different perspective and realizing that not everybody is the, you know, the golden agent or excuse me, the golden client that you want work with. So it's good to have that realization that. And you can't just go in trusting the good old boy system and you know, the gentleman's agreement or whatever you want to call it, the that these people are going to be loyal to me and they're going to be kind and they're going to be, you know, whatever else that you're looking for in a client, that's not fair because that's not realistic expectations for them. No. You know, I think you make a good point too about. I get like a lot of people pay for leads. A lot of people work under the like mantra of meeting somebody at the property first. And you know, I'm always obviously one that you have to have a pre approval letter first. So that kicks out half people. But what I've tried to do and those people that are like, I want to meet at the property. So there's two things I've been doing is that's great and we can do that. But either before we go to the appointment or after we go to the appointment, I'd like to sit down with you and just talk through how things have changed over the last year. You know, last week I had somebody that they are pre approved, they want to look at a house. And I did just say like, yep, let's go ahead and set the showing for 12:15 at you know, 12. Could you stop at my office so that I could just briefly go through this buyer consult with you? They came here at 12. I went through the buyer consult. I saw, I signed only a touring agreement with them. But I said I wanted you to have all the information so that at least you know, you can figure that out. It went to the property and Then right, like after the property they're like, nope, we'd like to sign the buyer agency agreement. We'd like to have you help you. But right. There was no, like they understood the process. They also understood like inspections and all those types of things, you know, and the week before that it was, you know, the, the prior and that met them at the property first and then, you know, they said that they hadn't bought home in like 20 years. And I was like, okay, like I understand, like the houses we looked at today probably aren't going to work for you, but I still would really like you to understand how the process works, how buyer agency works. Met at the office. I think it was like three days later. They came in and they didn't have a property secured, but they were like, nope, we want you to be our buyer's agent. We had looked at other properties, we have signed other pre agency agreements with other agents, but no one offered a buyer consult to us or told us any of this other information. And it's just the way that you differentiate yourself from the competition that's out there, right? I think it's how you can show your value that is completely different than anybody else. And also it's removing the people that are not your ideal client. So I think, I mean, at the end of the day it's a win win situation. And I know that rejection, you know, it stings. Nobody loves rejection, right? But I would much rather work with 10amazing clients than 30 people that are freaking headaches and I have to run after all the time. Like I think it's all about the quality over the quantity, right? Making sure that you're protecting yourself. It's showing your value, it's working the entire transaction and educating them. And I think that just makes the transaction so much smoother and it's building the trust. Then who are they going to come back to versus if you're going to, you know, just bend over backwards and you know, take whatever abuse that they're going to be throwing at you and you know, do you really think that you're creating a client? Oh, like they're just there for the next time. Absolutely. So I, I think it's boundaries, it's self respect, it's the value. I think it's increasing the level of standard within your, your market, all of it. It's not just, you know, running after clients, it's making sure that you're the client or excuse me, the agent that you're truly trying to, to be, you. Know, and I think it's interesting too if you think about it. We talk a lot about like that, you know, our motto is like humans over houses. Right. So like that's for us personally, but in the same sense there's no reason why we can't stop that. And that as far as the other side too, like it's human as we as an agent over houses. So like if people are not going to be humanly kind to you over these transactions, like that's not the, that's not the route we're looking to go because again, like it's just gonna typically lead to more problems down the road. And those are just the ones where, you know, you open yourself up to more issues and more stress and, and you heart, you start to hate real estate and you wonder what you're doing wrong and when in all reality it was just a bad apple. Yeah. And I think that the more that you surround yourself with bad apples, right, like the, you start the next one and the next one and so naturally what's going to happen is you're going to get infected with that apple syndrome and that's pretty freaking toxic. So you don't want that. So I think this is a, a great topic of just how it evolves from, you know, yes, me feeling or the agent feeling the, the pressure from somebody, but to really truly always going back to that self value and the self respect and then how as long as you are practicing what you're preaching and preparing and having those, those hard expectation conversations right up front and clarifying everything, how things can be so much easier in life. So good combo. So if you have any other topics or you would like to be a guest on our podcast, please reach out to us. We'd love hearing from you guys. So we'll tune in next time and talk to you then. If you've enjoyed today's episode, please like subscribe and share with others. Stay connected. For more genuine insights and strategies to boost your real estate career on Facebook or check out our website. We'll see you next time.