Summary
Today we discuss the common comment of 'it must be nice' and the impact it has on individuals. It delves into feeling invalidated and judged, as well as the hard work and success that often elicit such comments. The conversation highlights the importance of not making assumptions and misconceptions about others' lives. It also addresses the fear of success and fear of judgment that can arise from these comments. The conversation emphasizes the need to overcome judgment and care less about others' opinions. The story of the Cadillac serves as an example of personal growth and empowerment. The conversation concludes by discussing the significance of material possessions and the perspective gained from a car accident.
Chapters
00:00 - The common comment of 'it must be nice'
04:03 - Working hard and celebrating success
07:08 - Assumptions and misconceptions
08:12 - Fear of success and fear of judgment
11:30 - Empowering others and sharing experiences
13:00 - Recognizing the impact of past experiences
18:11 - The story of the Cadillac
22:37 - Material possessions and their significance
24:50 - Closing remarks
▶ Listen to Episode 2
Transcript
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title="Show episode details"
>
More Info
</button>
<a
type="button"
x-show="show.unlisted && show.enable_downloads"
title="Download MP3"
:href="`${selectedEpisode?.trackable_media_url}?download=true&src=player`"
>
Download
</a>
</nav>
<div x-show="!show.remove_branding" class="broadcasted-by">
<a
target="_new"
title="Visit Transistor.fm - Podcast Hosting and Analytics"
href="https://transistor.fm"
><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" xmlns:xlink="http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" fill="currentcolor" width="547px" height="144px" viewBox="0 0 547 144" version="1.1"><g stroke="none" stroke-width="1" fill="none" fill-rule="evenodd"><g id="transistor_horizontal" fill-rule="nonzero" fill="currentColor"><g transform="translate(191.000000, 42.000000)"><polygon points="0.7 10.4 0.7 1.8 38.6 1.8 38.6 10.4 24.5 10.4 24.5 58.3 14.7 58.3 14.7 10.4"></polygon><path d="M63.3,26.2 C62.1,26 60.7,25.8 58.7,25.8 C52.4,25.8 48.7,29.9 48.7,38.2 L48.7,58.2 L39.4,58.2 L39.4,18.6 L48.5,18.6 L48.5,24.2 L48.7,24.2 C50.5,20.8 54.5,17.3 59.8,17.3 C61.3,17.3 62.3,17.4 63.3,17.5 L63.3,26.2 L63.3,26.2 Z"></path><path d="M107.8,58.2 L98.8,58.2 L98.8,53.2 L98.6,53.2 C95.9,56.6 91.6,59.7 85,59.7 C76.1,59.7 66,52.6 66,38.4 C66,25.8 74.9,17.4 85.7,17.4 C92.3,17.4 96.3,20.9 98.7,24 L98.9,24 L98.9,18.6 L107.9,18.6 L107.9,58.2 L107.8,58.2 Z M87.4,51.5 C93.5,51.5 99.2,46.2 99.2,38.6 C99.2,30.6 94,25.3 87.5,25.3 C79.3,25.3 75.4,31.9 75.4,38.4 C75.4,45 79.2,51.5 87.4,51.5 Z"></path><path d="M118.6,18.6 L127.8,18.6 L127.8,23.6 L128,23.6 C131.1,19.1 135.7,17.3 140.1,17.3 C148.3,17.3 155.5,22.7 155.5,35.4 L155.5,58.2 L146.2,58.2 L146.2,35.9 C146.2,29.1 143,25.5 137.7,25.5 C131.9,25.5 127.9,29.6 127.9,37.3 L127.9,58.3 L118.6,58.3 L118.6,18.6 L118.6,18.6 Z"></path><path d="M183.6,28.8 C183.2,25.9 181,24 178.3,24 C175.1,24 173.3,26 173.3,28.2 C173.3,30.6 174.5,32.3 181.4,34.6 C189.9,37.3 192.9,41.7 192.9,47.3 C192.9,54.6 187.4,59.7 178.3,59.7 C168.8,59.7 164.1,54.5 163.4,47.1 L172,47.1 C172.4,50.4 174.4,52.9 178.5,52.9 C182,52.9 184,50.7 184,48 C184,45 182.3,43.1 175.7,40.9 C168.3,38.5 164.5,34.8 164.5,28.6 C164.5,22.1 169.6,17.3 178,17.3 C186.5,17.3 191,22.3 192,28.8 L183.6,28.8 L183.6,28.8 Z"></path><path d="M201,0.4 L211.3,0.4 L211.3,9.8 L201,9.8 L201,0.4 Z M201.5,18.6 L210.8,18.6 L210.8,58.3 L201.5,58.3 L201.5,18.6 Z"></path><path d="M239.5,28.8 C239.1,25.9 236.9,24 234.2,24 C231,24 229.2,26 229.2,28.2 C229.2,30.6 230.4,32.3 237.3,34.6 C245.8,37.3 248.8,41.7 248.8,47.3 C248.8,54.6 243.3,59.7 234.2,59.7 C224.7,59.7 220,54.5 219.3,47.1 L227.9,47.1 C228.3,50.4 230.3,52.9 234.4,52.9 C237.9,52.9 239.9,50.7 239.9,48 C239.9,45 238.2,43.1 231.6,40.9 C224.2,38.5 220.4,34.8 220.4,28.6 C220.4,22.1 225.5,17.3 233.9,17.3 C242.4,17.3 246.9,22.3 247.9,28.8 L239.5,28.8 L239.5,28.8 Z"></path><path d="M252.8,18.6 L257.8,18.6 L257.8,5.9 L267.1,5.9 L267.1,18.6 L277,18.6 L277,26.4 L267,26.4 L267,44.1 C267,49.5 268.7,51 272.5,51 C274.1,51 275.9,50.7 277.3,50.3 L277.3,57.8 C275.2,58.4 272.6,58.7 270.3,58.7 C260.4,58.7 257.8,52.7 257.8,44.6 L257.8,26.4 L252.8,26.4 L252.8,18.6 Z"></path><path d="M302.3,17.3 C314.7,17.3 323.5,26.4 323.5,38.4 C323.5,50.1 314.6,59.7 302.3,59.7 C290.2,59.7 281.1,50.4 281.1,38.4 C281.1,26.1 290.3,17.3 302.3,17.3 Z M302.3,51.4 C309.3,51.4 314.1,45.8 314.1,38.4 C314.1,31.4 309.6,25.5 302.3,25.5 C295.2,25.5 290.5,31 290.5,38.4 C290.5,46 295.9,51.4 302.3,51.4 Z"></path><path d="M350.9,25.8 C344.6,25.8 340.9,29.9 340.9,38.2 L340.9,58.2 L331.6,58.2 L331.6,18.6 L340.7,18.6 L340.7,24.2 L340.9,24.2 C342.7,20.8 346.7,17.3 352,17.3 C353.5,17.3 354.5,17.4 355.5,17.5 L355.5,26.2 C354.3,26 352.9,25.8 350.9,25.8 Z"></path></g><g><g transform="translate(24.000000, 24.000000)"><path d="M48,95.9 C45.4,95.9 43.2,93.8 43.2,91.1 L43.2,4.9 C43.2,2.3 45.3,0.1 48,0.1 C50.6,0.1 52.8,2.2 52.8,4.9 L52.8,91.1 C52.8,93.7 50.6,95.9 48,95.9 Z"></path><path d="M28,52.8 L5,52.8 C2.4,52.8 0.2,50.7 0.2,48 C0.2,45.3 2.3,43.2 5,43.2 L28,43.2 C30.6,43.2 32.8,45.3 32.8,48 C32.8,50.7 30.6,52.8 28,52.8 Z"></path><path d="M91.1,52.8 L68,52.8 C65.4,52.8 63.2,50.7 63.2,48 C63.2,45.3 65.3,43.2 68,43.2 L91,43.2 C93.6,43.2 95.8,45.3 95.8,48 C95.8,50.7 93.7,52.8 91.1,52.8 Z"></path></g><path d="M72,144 C32.3,144 0,111.7 0,72 C0,32.3 32.3,0 72,0 C111.7,0 144,32.3 144,72 C144,111.7 111.7,144 72,144 Z M72,9.6 C37.6,9.6 9.6,37.6 9.6,72 C9.6,106.4 37.6,134.4 72,134.4 C106.4,134.4 134.4,106.4 134.4,72 C134.4,37.6 106.4,9.6 72,9.6 Z"></path></g></g></g></svg></a>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div x-show="isPlaylist" class="playlist">
<div class="playlist-header">
<h3>More episodes</h3>
</div>
<ol reversed arial-label="Episode playlist">
<template x-for="(episode, index) in episodes" :key="index">
<li
:class="{ 'current': selectedEpisodeIndex === index }"
@click="playPause(index)"
:title="`Play Episode: ${episode.title}`"
role="button"
>
<button
aria-label="Play/Play"
class="play-button sm"
>
<span x-show="!(isSelected(index) && playing)" title="Play" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" fill="currentColor" viewBox="0 0 16 16"><path fill-rule="evenodd" d="M8,16 C12.4183,16 16,12.4183 16,8 C16,3.58172 12.4183,0 8,0 C3.58172,0 0,3.58172 0,8 C0,12.4183 3.58172,16 8,16 Z M7.5547,5.16795 C7.24784,4.96338 6.8533,4.94431 6.52814,5.11833 C6.20298,5.29235 6,5.63121 6,6.00000106 L6,10.0000011 C6,10.3688 6.20298,10.7077 6.52814,10.8817 C6.8533,11.0557 7.24784,11.0366 7.5547,10.8321 L10.5547,8.8321 C10.8329,8.6466 11,8.3344 11,8.00000106 C11,7.66565 10.8329,7.35342 10.5547,7.16795 L7.5547,5.16795 Z"></path></svg></span>
<span x-show="isSelected(index) && playing" title="Pause" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" fill="currentColor" viewBox="0 0 16 16"><path fill-rule="evenodd" d="M16,8 C16,12.4183 12.4183,16 8,16 C3.58172,16 0,12.4183 0,8 C0,3.58172 3.58172,0 8,0 C12.4183,0 16,3.58172 16,8 Z M5,6 C5,5.44772 5.44772,5 6,5 C6.55228,5 7,5.44772 7,6 L7,10 C7,10.5523 6.55228,11 6,11 C5.44772,11 5,10.5523 5,10 L5,6 Z M10,5 C9.4477,5 9,5.44772 9,6 L9,10 C9,10.5523 9.4477,11 10,11 C10.5523,11 11,10.5523 11,10 L11,6 C11,5.44772 10.5523,5 10,5 Z"></path></svg></span>
<span x-show="isSelected(index) && loading" x-transition.opacity.duration.500ms title="Loading..." class="loading" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" fill="currentColor" viewBox="0 0 512 512">
<path d="M224 32c0-17.7 14.3-32 32-32C397.4 0 512 114.6 512 256c0 46.6-12.5 90.4-34.3 128c-8.8 15.3-28.4 20.5-43.7 11.7s-20.5-28.4-11.7-43.7c16.3-28.2 25.7-61 25.7-96c0-106-86-192-192-192c-17.7 0-32-14.3-32-32z"></path>
<path style="opacity:.4" d="M256 64C150 64 64 150 64 256s86 192 192 192c70.1 0 131.3-37.5 164.9-93.6l.1 .1c-6.9 14.9-1.5 32.8 13 41.2c15.3 8.9 34.9 3.6 43.7-11.7c.2-.3 .4-.6 .5-.9l0 0C434.1 460.1 351.1 512 256 512C114.6 512 0 397.4 0 256S114.6 0 256 0c-17.7 0-32 14.3-32 32s14.3 32 32 32z"></path>
</svg></span>
</button>
<h4 x-text="episode.title"></h4>
<span class="inline-flex items-center gap-x-1">
<time :datetime="formatTime(episode.duration)" x-text="`${episode.duration_in_minutes} min`"></time>
</span>
</li>
</template>
</ol>
</div>
</article>
<article x-show="expandedPanel === 'subscribe'" class="tab-panel subscribe-tab-panel" x-transition.opacity.duration.500ms>
<div class="tab-panel-header">
<h2>Subscribe</h2>
<div
x-show="!show.disable_feed"
x-data="{ copied: false }"
x-init="$watch('copied', newValue => newValue ? setTimeout(() => copied = false, 2500) : null)"
@click="copied = copyFeedUrl()"
class="form-input-group"
>
<span class="form-input-group-prepend"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 24 24"><g fill="currentColor"><path d="M8 11.75c2.34 0 4.25 1.9 4.25 4.25 0 .41.33.75.75.75 .41 0 .75-.34.75-.75 0-3.18-2.58-5.75-5.75-5.75 -.42 0-.75.33-.75.75 0 .41.33.75.75.75Z"></path><path d="M8 14.75c.69 0 1.25.55 1.25 1.25 0 .41.33.75.75.75 .41 0 .75-.34.75-.75 0-1.52-1.24-2.75-2.75-2.75 -.42 0-.75.33-.75.75 0 .41.33.75.75.75Z"></path><path d="M8 8.75c4 0 7.25 3.24 7.25 7.25 0 .41.33.75.75.75 .41 0 .75-.34.75-.75 0-4.84-3.92-8.75-8.75-8.75 -.42 0-.75.33-.75.75 0 .41.33.75.75.75Z"></path><path d="M20.25 12v4c0 2.34-1.91 4.25-4.25 4.25l-8 0c-2.35 0-4.25-1.91-4.25-4.25V8c0-2.35 1.9-4.25 4.25-4.25l8-.001c2.34 0 4.25 1.9 4.25 4.25v4Zm1.5 0V8c0-3.18-2.58-5.75-5.75-5.75l-8 0C4.82 2.25 2.25 4.82 2.25 8v8c0 3.17 2.57 5.75 5.75 5.75l8-.001c3.17 0 5.75-2.58 5.75-5.75v-4Z" transform="rotate(90 12 12)"></path></g><path fill="none" d="M0 0h24v24H0Z"></path></svg></span>
<input
type="text"
class="form-input"
:value="show.feed_url"
readonly
/>
<span title="Copy URL to clipboard" class="copy-button" :class="{ 'copied': copied }">
<span x-show="!copied" x-transition.opacity.duration.400ms><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" xmlns:xlink="http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" viewBox="0 0 24 24"><defs><path d="M20.25 10v4c0 1.24-1.01 2.25-2.25 2.25l-8 0c-1.25 0-2.25-1.01-2.25-2.25l-.001-8c0-1.25 1-2.25 2.25-2.25l8-.001c1.24 0 2.25 1 2.25 2.25v4Zm1.5 0V6c0-2.08-1.68-3.75-3.75-3.75l-8 0C7.92 2.249 6.25 3.92 6.25 6l0 8c0 2.07 1.67 3.75 3.75 3.75l8-.001c2.07 0 3.75-1.68 3.75-3.75v-4Z" id="copya"></path></defs><g fill="currentColor"><use transform="rotate(179.999 14 10)" xlink:href="#copya"></use><use transform="rotate(179.999 14 10)" xlink:href="#copya"></use><path d="M16.46 19.59c-.43.42-1 .65-1.59.65l-8.88-.01c-1.25 0-2.25-1.01-2.25-2.25V9.1c-.01-.6.23-1.17.65-1.6 .29-.3.29-.77 0-1.07 -.3-.3-.77-.3-1.07-.01 -.71.7-1.11 1.65-1.1 2.65l-.01 8.87c0 2.07 1.67 3.75 3.75 3.75h8.87c.99 0 1.94-.4 2.65-1.1 .29-.3.29-.77-.01-1.07 -.3-.3-.77-.3-1.07 0Z"></path></g><path fill="none" d="M24 24H0V0h24Z"></path></svg></span>
<span x-show="copied" x-transition.opacity.duration.400ms class="copy-button-success"><span>Copied to clipboard</span><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 24 24"><g fill="currentColor"><path d="M14.03 10.96l-1.75-1.75c-.3-.3-.77-.3-1.07 0 -.3.29-.3.76 0 1.06l1.75 1.75c.29.29.76.29 1.06 0 .29-.3.29-.77 0-1.07Z"></path><path d="M3.47 6.46c-.79.78-1.23 1.84-1.23 2.94l-.01 8.58c0 2.07 1.67 3.75 3.75 3.75h8.58c1.1 0 2.16-.44 2.94-1.23 .29-.3.29-.77-.01-1.07 -.3-.3-.77-.3-1.07 0 -.5.49-1.18.78-1.89.77l-8.59-.01c-1.25 0-2.25-1.01-2.25-2.25V9.35c-.01-.71.27-1.39.77-1.89 .29-.3.29-.77 0-1.07 -.3-.3-.77-.3-1.07-.01Z"></path><path d="M20.25 10v4c0 1.24-1.01 2.25-2.25 2.25l-8 0c-1.25 0-2.25-1.01-2.25-2.25l-.001-8c0-1.25 1-2.25 2.25-2.25l8-.001c1.24 0 2.25 1 2.25 2.25v4Zm1.5 0V6c0-2.08-1.68-3.75-3.75-3.75l-8 0C7.92 2.249 6.25 3.92 6.25 6l0 8c0 2.07 1.67 3.75 3.75 3.75l8-.001c2.07 0 3.75-1.68 3.75-3.75v-4Z"></path><path d="M15.96 7.96l-3 3c-.3.29-.3.76 0 1.06 .29.29.76.29 1.06 0l3-3c.29-.3.29-.77 0-1.07 -.3-.3-.77-.3-1.07 0Z"></path></g></svg></span>
</span>
</div>
<button
type="button"
class="close-button"
@click="expandedPanel = null"
><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" fill="currentColor" viewBox="0 0 384 512"><path d="M342.6 150.6c12.5-12.5 12.5-32.8 0-45.3s-32.8-12.5-45.3 0L192 210.7 86.6 105.4c-12.5-12.5-32.8-12.5-45.3 0s-12.5 32.8 0 45.3L146.7 256 41.4 361.4c-12.5 12.5-12.5 32.8 0 45.3s32.8 12.5 45.3 0L192 301.3 297.4 406.6c12.5 12.5 32.8 12.5 45.3 0s12.5-32.8 0-45.3L237.3 256 342.6 150.6z"></path></svg></button>
</div>
<div class="tab-panel-content">
<nav class="subscribe-links">
<a x-show="show.apple_podcasts_url" :href="show.apple_podcasts_url" target="_subscribe" title="Listen on Apple Podcasts">
<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 24 24">
<g transform="translate(-0.000014, -0.000014)" fill-rule="nonzero">
<path d="M5.34001356,5.16520691e-17 C3.92278028,-0.00318201407 2.5626729,0.558397276 1.56053509,1.56053509 C0.558397276,2.5626729 -0.00318201407,3.92278028 1.02592631e-17,5.34001356 L1.02592631e-17,18.6600136 C-0.00318201407,20.0772468 0.558397276,21.4373542 1.56053509,22.439492 C2.5626729,23.4416299 3.92278028,24.0032091 5.34001356,24.0000271 L18.6600136,24.0000271 C20.0772468,24.0032091 21.4373542,23.4416299 22.439492,22.439492 C23.4416299,21.4373542 24.0032091,20.0772468 24.0000271,18.6600136 L24.0000271,5.34001356 C24.0032091,3.92278028 23.4416299,2.5626729 22.439492,1.56053509 C21.4373542,0.558397276 20.0772468,-0.00318201407 18.6600136,5.16520691e-17 L5.34001356,5.16520691e-17 Z" fill="#9933CC"></path>
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<span>Amazon Music</span>
</a>
<a x-show="show.pandora" :href="show.pandora" target="_subscribe" title="Listen on Pandora">
<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 24 24">
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<path d="M19.051,0 L4.949,0 C2.25,0 0,2.221 0,4.95 L0,19.051 C0,21.75 2.22,24 4.949,24 L19.051,24 C21.779,24 24,21.779 24,19.051 L24,4.95 C24,2.25 21.779,0 19.051,0 Z" fill="#224099"></path>
<path d="M12.375,15.811 L11.146,15.811 L11.146,18.6 C11.146,18.961 10.845,19.246 10.5,19.246 L6.646,19.246 L6.646,4.756 L13.2,4.756 C16.381,4.756 18.842,6.406 18.842,10.156 C18.842,13.711 16.112,15.81 12.391,15.81 L12.375,15.81 L12.375,15.811 Z" fill="#FFFFFF"></path>
</g>
</svg>
<span>Pandora</span>
</a>
<a x-show="show.castbox" :href="show.castbox" target="_subscribe" title="Listen on Castbox">
<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 22 24">
<g transform="translate(0.613000, -0.000159)" fill-rule="nonzero">
<path d="M10.387,-1.01101853e-17 C10.097,-1.01101853e-17 9.807,0.0681588029 9.575,0.206158803 L0.804,5.3921588 C0.344,5.6641588 0,6.2671588 0,6.8001588 L0,17.2001588 C0,17.7331588 0.344,18.3351588 0.804,18.6071588 L9.574,23.7941588 C10.039,24.0691588 10.736,24.0691588 11.2,23.7941588 L19.97,18.6071588 C20.43,18.3351588 20.774,17.7331588 20.774,17.2001588 L20.774,6.8001588 C20.774,6.2671588 20.43,5.6641588 19.97,5.3921588 L11.2,0.206158803 C10.9518166,0.067228244 10.6713956,-0.00382553235 10.387,-1.01101853e-17 Z" fill="#F55B23"></path>
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<path d="M16.379,12.0881588 C16.774,12.0881588 17.092,12.3911588 17.092,12.7641588 L17.092,13.4341588 C17.092,13.8081588 16.774,14.1101588 16.38,14.1101588 C15.986,14.1101588 15.667,13.8081588 15.667,13.4351588 L15.667,12.7651588 C15.667,12.3911588 15.987,12.0881588 16.38,12.0881588 L16.379,12.0881588 Z" fill="#FFFFFF"></path>
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</svg>
<span>CastBox</span>
</a>
<a x-show="show.anghami" :href="show.anghami" target="_subscribe" title="Listen on Anghami">
<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" role="img" width="135px" height="135px" viewBox="0 0 135 135">
<title>Anghami</title>
<g>
<rect fill="#1D1A1A" x="0" y="0" width="135" height="135" rx="23"></rect>
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<path d="M95.59,103.23 L95.59,66.3 C95.59,50.94 83.04,38.46 67.68,38.529707 C52.32,38.529707 39.84,51.08 39.909707,66.44 C39.909707,81.8 52.46,94.28 67.82,94.21 C71.93,94.21 75.97,93.27 79.65,91.54 L79.65,85.63 C68.98,92.19 54.98,88.95 48.42,78.27 C41.86,67.6 45.1,53.6 55.78,47.04 C66.45,40.48 80.45,43.72 87.01,54.4 C89.25,58.01 90.4,62.12 90.4,66.3 L90.4,102.29 L95.59,103.23 L95.59,103.23 Z" fill="#00CEE5" fill-rule="nonzero"></path>
<path d="M103.53,104.68 L103.53,66.31 C103.53,46.48 87.45,30.46 67.61,30.46 C47.77,30.46 31.76,46.54 31.76,66.38 C31.76,86.22 47.84,102.23 67.68,102.23 C71.72,102.23 75.76,101.51 79.58,100.21 L79.58,94.58 C64,101.14 45.97,93.86 39.41,78.28 C32.85,62.7 40.13,44.67 55.71,38.11 C71.29,31.55 89.32,38.83 95.88,54.41 C97.47,58.16 98.33,62.27 98.33,66.31 L98.33,103.74 L103.52,104.68 L103.52,104.68 L103.53,104.68 Z" fill="#03FF16" fill-rule="nonzero"></path>
<path d="M67.75,110.16 C75.11,110.16 82.32,108.28 88.74,104.75 L79.58,103.02 C59.24,109.58 37.46,98.48 30.9,78.21 C24.26,57.87 35.37,36.09 55.71,29.53 C76.05,22.97 97.83,34.07 104.39,54.34 C105.62,58.16 106.27,62.2 106.27,66.24 L106.27,105.19 L111.46,106.13 L111.46,66.32 C111.46,42.09 91.77,22.54 67.61,22.54 C43.45,22.54 23.83,42.23 23.83,66.39 C23.9,90.62 43.59,110.17 67.75,110.17 L67.75,110.17 L67.75,110.16 Z" fill="#E0FF00" fill-rule="nonzero"></path>
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</svg>
<span>Anghami</span>
</a>
<a x-show="show.fountain" :href="show.fountain" target="_subscribe" title="Listen on Fountain">
<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 26 26">
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</svg>
<span>Fountain</span>
</a>
<a x-show="show.jiosaavn" :href="show.jiosaavn" target="_subscribe" title="Listen on JioSaavn">
<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 80 80">
<path d="M0,40 C0,61.9983753 18.0016247,80 40,80 C61.9983753,80 80,61.9983753 80,40 C80,18.0016247 61.9983753,0 40,0 C18.0016247,0 0,18.0016247 0,40 Z" fill="#2BC5B4"></path>
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<path d="M61.738424,52.2502031 C61.738424,51.9902518 61.738424,51.7627945 61.4784728,51.5028432 C61.2185215,51.242892 60.9910642,51.242892 60.7311129,51.242892 L60.4711617,51.242892 C52.7051178,52.997563 45.7189277,57.2542648 40.714866,63.2331438 C40.4549147,63.493095 40.4549147,63.7205524 40.4549147,63.9805037 C40.4549147,64.2404549 40.4549147,64.4679123 40.714866,64.7278635 C40.9748172,64.9878148 41.2022746,64.9878148 41.4622258,64.9878148 L41.4622258,64.9878148 C45.4589764,64.7278635 49.4557271,63.493095 52.965069,61.4784728 C56.474411,59.4638505 59.4638505,56.474411 61.4784728,52.965069 C61.738424,52.7376117 61.738424,52.5101543 61.738424,52.2502031 L61.738424,52.2502031 Z" fill="#FFFFFF"></path>
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<span>JioSaavn</span>
</a>
<a x-show="show.gaana" :href="show.gaana" target="_subscribe" title="Listen on Gaana">
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x-init="$watch('copied', newValue => newValue ? setTimeout(() => copied = false, 2500) : null)"
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class="form-input-group"
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<span class="form-input-group-prepend">Share</span>
<input
type="text"
class="form-input"
:value="shareUrl()"
readonly
/>
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<span x-show="!copied" x-transition.opacity.duration.400ms><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" xmlns:xlink="http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" viewBox="0 0 24 24"><defs><path d="M20.25 10v4c0 1.24-1.01 2.25-2.25 2.25l-8 0c-1.25 0-2.25-1.01-2.25-2.25l-.001-8c0-1.25 1-2.25 2.25-2.25l8-.001c1.24 0 2.25 1 2.25 2.25v4Zm1.5 0V6c0-2.08-1.68-3.75-3.75-3.75l-8 0C7.92 2.249 6.25 3.92 6.25 6l0 8c0 2.07 1.67 3.75 3.75 3.75l8-.001c2.07 0 3.75-1.68 3.75-3.75v-4Z" id="copya"></path></defs><g fill="currentColor"><use transform="rotate(179.999 14 10)" xlink:href="#copya"></use><use transform="rotate(179.999 14 10)" xlink:href="#copya"></use><path d="M16.46 19.59c-.43.42-1 .65-1.59.65l-8.88-.01c-1.25 0-2.25-1.01-2.25-2.25V9.1c-.01-.6.23-1.17.65-1.6 .29-.3.29-.77 0-1.07 -.3-.3-.77-.3-1.07-.01 -.71.7-1.11 1.65-1.1 2.65l-.01 8.87c0 2.07 1.67 3.75 3.75 3.75h8.87c.99 0 1.94-.4 2.65-1.1 .29-.3.29-.77-.01-1.07 -.3-.3-.77-.3-1.07 0Z"></path></g><path fill="none" d="M24 24H0V0h24Z"></path></svg></span>
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x-init="$watch('copied', newValue => newValue ? setTimeout(() => copied = false, 2500) : null)"
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<input
type="text"
class="form-input"
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<span title="Copy URL to clipboard" class="copy-button" :class="{ 'copied': copied }">
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<button
type="button"
role="switch"
:aria-checked="enableShareTime"
@click="enableShareTime = !enableShareTime"
class="flex items-center justify-center gap-x-2"
>
<span
:class="enableShareTime ? 'bg-[var(--player-color)] border-[var(--player-color)]' : 'bg-[var(--player-background-accent)]'"
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>
<span
:class="enableShareTime ? 'translate-x-6 border-[var(--player-background)]' : 'translate-x-0.5'"
class="bg-[var(--player-background)] h-5 w-5 rounded-full transition border border-transparent"
aria-hidden="true"></span>
</span>
<label class="font-medium">Start at</label>
</button>
<input
type="text"
class="form-input share-time-form-input"
placeholder="00:00"
x-model="shareTimeFormatted"
/>
</div>
<nav class="social-links">
<a
title="Share this episode on X"
@click.prevent="popup"
:href="`https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=${encodeURIComponent(shareUrl())}&text=I found a great episode of ''${encodeURIComponent(show.title)}''. Listen along here:`"
target="_popup"
class="social-link twitter-link"
><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 16 16" style="enable-background:new 0 0 16 16;">
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</svg></a>
<a
@click.prevent="popup"
:href="`http://www.facebook.com/sharer.php?u=${encodeURIComponent(shareUrl())}`"
target="_popup"
class="social-link facebook-link"
title="Share this episode on Facebook"
><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 16 16"><path fill-rule="nonzero" d="M8,0C3.582,0,0,3.582,0,8s3.582,8,8,8s8-3.582,8-8S12.418,0,8,0z M11,5h-1 C9.15,5,9,5,9,7h2v2H9v4H7V9H5V7h2c0-1.531,0-4,3-4h1V5z"></path></svg></a>
<a
@click.prevent="popup"
:href="`https://www.linkedin.com/shareArticle?mini=true&url=${encodeURIComponent(shareUrl())}`"
target="_popup"
class="social-link linkedin-link"
title="Share this episode on LinkedIn"
><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 72 72">
<g fill-rule="evenodd">
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</g>
</svg></a>
<a
title="Download MP3"
x-show="show.enable_downloads"
:href="`${selectedEpisode?.trackable_media_url}?download=true&src=player`"
class="social-link download-link"
><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 384 512"><path d="M219.3 372.7L342.1 249.9c6.4-6.4 9.9-15 9.9-24c0-18.7-15.2-33.9-33.9-33.9L256 192l0-128c0-17.7-14.3-32-32-32l-64 0c-17.7 0-32 14.3-32 32l0 128-62.1 0C47.2 192 32 207.2 32 225.9c0 9 3.6 17.6 9.9 24L164.7 372.7c7.2 7.2 17.1 11.3 27.3 11.3s20.1-4.1 27.3-11.3z"></path><path class="fa-secondary" d="M0 448c0-17.7 14.3-32 32-32H352c17.7 0 32 14.3 32 32s-14.3 32-32 32H32c-17.7 0-32-14.3-32-32z"></path></svg></a>
</nav>
</div>
</div>
</article>
<article x-show="expandedPanel === 'details'" class="tab-panel details-tab-panel" x-transition.opacity.duration.500ms>
<div class="tab-panel-header">
<button
type="button"
class="close-button"
@click="expandedPanel = null"
><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" fill="currentColor" viewBox="0 0 384 512"><path d="M342.6 150.6c12.5-12.5 12.5-32.8 0-45.3s-32.8-12.5-45.3 0L192 210.7 86.6 105.4c-12.5-12.5-32.8-12.5-45.3 0s-12.5 32.8 0 45.3L146.7 256 41.4 361.4c-12.5 12.5-12.5 32.8 0 45.3s32.8 12.5 45.3 0L192 301.3 297.4 406.6c12.5 12.5 32.8 12.5 45.3 0s12.5-32.8 0-45.3L237.3 256 342.6 150.6z"></path></svg></button>
</div>
<div class="tab-panel-content">
<div class="meta">
<span x-text="show.title" class="meta-show-title"></span>
<span x-show="selectedEpisode?.episode_type === 'trailer'">Trailer</span>
<span x-show="selectedEpisode?.episode_type === 'bonus'">Bonus</span>
<span x-show="selectedEpisode?.number" x-text="`Episode ${selectedEpisode?.number}`"></span>
<span x-show="show.multiple_seasons" x-text="`Season ${selectedEpisode?.season}`"></span>
</div>
<h1 class="episode-title" :title="selectedEpisode?.title" x-text="selectedEpisode?.title"></h1>
<div class="meta normal-case">
<span x-text="selectedEpisode?.formatted_published_at"></span>
<span x-text="`${selectedEpisode?.author}`"></span>
<span x-show="selectedEpisode?.transcript_url && !show.unlisted && !show.private"><a
title="View Episode Transcript"
:href="selectedEpisode?.transcript_url"
target="_transcript"
class="font-medium cursor-pointer"
>Full Transcript</a></span>
<span x-show="show.website && !show.unlisted && !show.private"><a
title="View Podcast Website"
:href="show.website"
target="_website"
class="font-medium cursor-pointer"
>View the website</a></span>
</div>
<div
x-html="selectedEpisode?.description"
x-effect="selectedEpisode?.description && $nextTick(() => updateDescriptionLinks($el))"
class="episode-description"
></div>
</div>
</article>
<article x-show="expandedPanel === 'chapters'" class="tab-panel chapters-tab-panel" x-transition.opacity.duration.500ms>
<div class="tab-panel-header">
<h2>Chapters</h2>
<button
type="button"
class="close-button"
@click="expandedPanel = null"
><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" fill="currentColor" viewBox="0 0 384 512"><path d="M342.6 150.6c12.5-12.5 12.5-32.8 0-45.3s-32.8-12.5-45.3 0L192 210.7 86.6 105.4c-12.5-12.5-32.8-12.5-45.3 0s-12.5 32.8 0 45.3L146.7 256 41.4 361.4c-12.5 12.5-12.5 32.8 0 45.3s32.8 12.5 45.3 0L192 301.3 297.4 406.6c12.5 12.5 32.8 12.5 45.3 0s12.5-32.8 0-45.3L237.3 256 342.6 150.6z"></path></svg></button>
</div>
<div class="tab-panel-content">
<ol arial-label="Episode chapters" class="chapters-list">
<template x-for="(chapter, index) in selectedEpisode.chapters" :key="index">
<li
@click="seekToSeconds(chapter.timestamp, true); expandedPanel = null"
:title="`Play chapter at ${chapter.formatted_timestamp}`"
role="button"
>
<time x-text="chapter.formatted_timestamp"></time>
<span x-text="chapter.title"></span>
</li>
</template>
</ol>
</div>
</article>
</main>
</div>
</div>
</header>
<div class="container main" x-data="{ transcript: true }">
<aside>
<ul>
<li><time>January 9, 2024</time></li>
<li>by LeadingLane</li>
<li><a target="_new" href="https://leadinglaneco.com">View the website</a></li>
</ul>
<div class="subscribe">
<a class="apple-podcasts" target="_new" title="Listen to LeadingLane Podcast on Apple Podcasts" href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/leadinglane-podcast/id1720463520?uo=4">
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<div><strong>Summary<br></strong>Today we discuss the common comment of 'it must be nice' and the impact it has on individuals. It delves into feeling invalidated and judged, as well as the hard work and success that often elicit such comments. The conversation highlights the importance of not making assumptions and misconceptions about others' lives. It also addresses the fear of success and fear of judgment that can arise from these comments. The conversation emphasizes the need to overcome judgment and care less about others' opinions. The story of the Cadillac serves as an example of personal growth and empowerment. The conversation concludes by discussing the significance of material possessions and the perspective gained from a car accident.<br><br><strong>Chapters<br></strong><a href="#t=0m0s" data-turbo="false" title="Jump to 00:00 in this episode">00:00</a> - The common comment of 'it must be nice'<br><a href="#t=4m3s" data-turbo="false" title="Jump to 04:03 in this episode">04:03</a> - Working hard and celebrating success<br><a href="#t=7m8s" data-turbo="false" title="Jump to 07:08 in this episode">07:08</a> - Assumptions and misconceptions<br><a href="#t=8m12s" data-turbo="false" title="Jump to 08:12 in this episode">08:12</a> - Fear of success and fear of judgment<br><a href="#t=11m30s" data-turbo="false" title="Jump to 11:30 in this episode">11:30</a> - Empowering others and sharing experiences<br><a href="#t=13m0s" data-turbo="false" title="Jump to 13:00 in this episode">13:00</a> - Recognizing the impact of past experiences<br><a href="#t=18m11s" data-turbo="false" title="Jump to 18:11 in this episode">18:11</a> - The story of the Cadillac<br><a href="#t=22m37s" data-turbo="false" title="Jump to 22:37 in this episode">22:37</a> - Material possessions and their significance<br><a href="#t=24m50s" data-turbo="false" title="Jump to 24:50 in this episode">24:50</a> - Closing remarks </div>
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<h4>What is LeadingLane Podcast?</h4>
<p>Welcome to LeadingLane, the go-to podcast for aspiring and seasoned real estate professionals! Hosted by Steven L. Burch and Ashley Fredrick, two seasoned brokers with a flair for the industry, this show delves into the core of what makes real estate tick. Each episode is a journey through essential topics like mastering time management, unraveling the complexities of real estate finances, and sharing authentic experiences from the field. Get valuable tips and tricks, whether you're a newbie or a pro. This podcast is your key to thriving in real estate.</p>
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<section class="episode-description episode-transcript" x-show="transcript">
<p>So today we're gonna be talking about... Remember to start over?</p>
<p>Steven L Burch (01:49.489)
<br />No, I think this is great link we can't even get their shit together right now. Who's going? Okay? Okay, go</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (01:54.574)
<br />Who's going? I'm going. Okay, I'm gonna go. So today we're going to talk about the common comment of it must be nice and where that comes from potentially. I think how people can maybe, you know, if you say it, what it means, if it's said to you how it, how you might take it, numerous ways to take it, but I think just that a lot of us get that often, I think, and</p>
<p>you know, um, can take offense to it or can get upset about it. And I think, you know, just having the open conversation as why do people say that, how we take it, maybe better ways to handle it in the future.</p>
<p>Steven L Burch (02:37.233)
<br />Yeah. So for me, I know that this is something that like going through, you know, success and going through all this stuff with business and people saying, no, it must be nice. It like gets under my skin. It like x me. That's my biggest red flag. Like, no. Um, I mean, we've had people send it, you know, directly in, in text messages to us, like basically face to face saying, oh yeah, it must be nice. And we had people, you know, trolling on the internet, you know,</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (02:54.382)
<br />Thank you.</p>
<p>Steven L Burch (03:06.633)
<br />talking and making, you know, spine comments like that as well. To me personally, when that, when I hear that and somebody tells me, it's like they're not giving me the validation. Maybe that's not the right word, but they don't know what really is happening. Correct, yeah. Like we work freaking hard. And you know, the things that we do, the vehicles that we drive, yes, we drive nice vehicles or.</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (03:23.588)
<br />where credit is due.</p>
<p>Steven L Burch (03:34.505)
<br />we go on vacations or whatever we're doing. It doesn't even matter what it is. I had somebody made a comment about my Christmas decorations and how many freaking Christmas trees I had. I mean, it doesn't matter. Everybody has an opinion. I don't know why we don't just go ahead and applaud. Good for you. I love that you have 12 Christmas trees in your house or I love that you... I think it was six this year. I cut it back a little bit. So, yeah.</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (03:57.75)
<br />Did you really not float?</p>
<p>Okay, I mean, I have to park, so.</p>
<p>Steven L Burch (04:05.509)
<br />But you know, like we worked freaking hard. They didn't know that, you know, we started the business with basically freaking nothing, barely able to pay bills and we only had, you know, the five grand in our pocket to be able to, to get where we are now. So we've worked extremely hard and we, you know, go and celebrate our successes. That's how I, I deserve to have a nice vehicle. I deserve to be able to treat myself, ourselves to go on vacation or whatever the case may be. But,</p>
<p>Um, yeah, give credit when credit is due and applaud and cheer each other on versus trying to make shitty comments to bring other people down. We work hard. So that's.</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (04:43.97)
<br />Yeah, you know, I actually was having this conversation with someone the other day and, you know, they made a good point about how it can be really like two ways, right? So like one way somebody is meaning it to be sarcastic, you know, but also maybe somebody does just truly mean it as like, it must be nice. But I think that you can normally tell in people's donation of what they're saying. And I think it used to bother me quite a bit.</p>
<p>but right over time we grow over those obstacles and whatnot. And so like as a recent, my response normally is just, yep, it is. And, you know, Carrie, I think some people are actually caught off guard because I think that they were actually expecting some type of like argument, but something, you know, correct. Right. And I think it's just, you know, which we can we can we can talk about to a recent Facebook post from, you know, a week ago and</p>
<p>Steven L Burch (05:30.281)
<br />a rebuttal or something.</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (05:41.554)
<br />What I, it was kind of a dig at me, which is fine. It happens. Um, but what I want to like remind people is, uh, like we have to just give people grace cause one, like we don't know where they've been from. I think we've talked about it before, but people that we've met along the way, like, you know, like clients that I met in the last year, like they just know me now, they don't know Ashley from 20 or 15 years ago when we lived on ramen or, you know, I had a savage salvage car, you know, like</p>
<p>Nobody knows those things. I think that when you just assume that someone in their current matter is how it's always been, right? Like assuming makes an ass out of you and me, so people should stop assuming. And what I always tell people is like the way that I want to more see that is like if you see someone that has, you know, really nice things, it doesn't necessarily mean that they're happy or that they are financially stable. Let's be honest. We know many people that are financially strapped because of things that they've.</p>
<p>But if you think someone is financially stable and doing well, why not instead open the conversation of how'd you get here? What tips can you give me? My thing is I just wanna bring people along with us. So if we are doing well, let me show you the way. Let me show you that it's 80 hours a week. It doesn't happen 10 hours a week here and there. And I think that's the other misnomer is people just think it super easy money. You and I both know that is far from the case.</p>
<p>And many days I think to myself, why am I doing this? So I think that if it was just more if people were intrigued or tell me more or when they were to actually sit down and go through what an actual day or work week or years look like, we used to flip homes on a regular basis because we were trying to make up for debt, right? And don't do that as much, but at the time, that was the only way we could afford to do things or make things up. And people didn't understand that was every night and every weekend.</p>
<p>didn't post about that right everyone posts differently and we choose not to post all of those struggles.</p>
<p>Steven L Burch (07:43.861)
<br />Yeah, and you know, I think that the other part of it too is in real estate, obviously in or sales or any type of business, it's not consistent. You know, we're not W2 employees, so we don't have a guarantee check coming in, you know, left and right. Um, so there's times that times are freaking great. And then there's times that are freaking horrible. And it's like, Oh man, here comes back the, the ramen era again. Um, but you know,</p>
<p>I would be more apt and probably, no, I would be 100% more apt to be able to say, let me help you, let me show you the way to be able to at least get where I am at, or I'll share everything, all the struggles, all the tips and tricks and everything that I have learned along the way so that you too can reap the benefits of being an entrepreneur. So...</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (08:36.69)
<br />Yeah, I don't think it necessarily just has to be for real estate, right? I mean, like, you know, I know plenty of entrepreneurs and they've also put in, which I tell people, right, like it's it is blood, sweat and tears for numerous types of things. And I think that if people could just be a little bit more if they actually truly mean it, like I would take a man. I'm so proud of you. Like, look how far you've come over. It must be nice. Or like, gosh, you're killing it. Like anything you can help me. And again, like it's.</p>
<p>Steven L Burch (08:40.157)
<br />Not gone.</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (09:04.822)
<br />things outside of real estate too. There's just actual business practices, period, that you can do to try to help yourself get some ground made up.</p>
<p>Steven L Burch (09:13.617)
<br />Right, absolutely. And you did make a valid point. And it's a lot of times maybe we're internalizing. I'm speaking for myself, not for you. Maybe maybe that, you know, I'm so sensitive, if you will, with that phrase that my guard goes up immediately. And like I kind of go into this attack mode to where maybe like I don't have to prove it anymore. Like I don't have to prove anything to anybody else.</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (09:21.058)
<br />No, yeah.</p>
<p>Steven L Burch (09:39.057)
<br />So I don't know why I do allow that one phrase to get under my skin and be an ick. And so maybe that's a challenge for myself that I need to really push myself to step back. And it's okay to say it is damn nice, but it's not a challenge anymore. It's not trying to prove, and it very well could be this person on the other side because we don't hear tone, we don't see expressions or anything else. Maybe on the other side, they truly are being.</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (09:42.606)
<br />Thank you.</p>
<p>Steven L Burch (10:08.365)
<br />genuine in saying, man, that must be nice. So, yeah.</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (10:12.218)
<br />Sure. I think it's like when you're in person, right, when someone says it. For me, like nine times out of 10, I'm caught off guard. So I'm not prepared in my mental status to be like, but I think that, I think why it's probably such a like immediate want to do defense is because, right, only us ourselves have faced those.</p>
<p>downs, right, or the financial struggles or the tears. So I think what it does for me sometimes is it brings that back, right? Like those are some really shitty times and I wish, you know, like that people would understand like how bad of a spot, right? Like I've told stories about, you know, I was in a bad spot that I was going to quit real estate, you know, and making me think about that and then what would have happened if I would have quit real estate? I mean, you and I would have never met. We wouldn't be here today. You know, like, um, I think that it brings back that. I think that's why I</p>
<p>Steven L Burch (11:01.513)
<br />Right, right.</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (11:05.482)
<br />I'm so annoyed by that. But I do think it's good that, in the same sense, getting to a point where they don't know us, they don't understand, and if that's how they choose to see that, that's on them and moving on.</p>
<p>Steven L Burch (11:19.773)
<br />Well, I think that, you know, at least I have this realization, both you and I are working with Maya. And so she's, what is her title? A naturalist?</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (11:31.024)
<br />Yeah, wellness, yeah.</p>
<p>Steven L Burch (11:33.009)
<br />Well, I mean, like so wellness and we're doing labs and from everything that we won't even go into, but we're doing all these crazy labs. And, you know, I went into this going, you know, working with Maya and saying, Oh, it's all going to be health, and only off of these labs. Well, one of the things that she had us do was a timeline of events that have happened in our life that stress has been peaked in, in like, I wrote, wrote mine out.</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (11:57.395)
<br />Thank you.</p>
<p>Steven L Burch (12:02.573)
<br />A, I was very resistant. I think it was two calls that she kept on like, hey, you need to do this, this is your homework, and I didn't do it. But then I was like, holy shit, writing down all of the different, the word that I never associated with was traumatic, but truly all these traumatic events that I didn't realize were traumatic. Looking back, it's been like a constant, and I've been in this constant.</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (12:09.018)
<br />You know.</p>
<p>Steven L Burch (12:30.649)
<br />uh, fight or flight mode and. Right. And not even knowing it. And so I think having that realization, doing that work with her. And then with this conversation with it must be nice with my defense going up automatically, like, of course it's because that's all I know. I've only been in fight or flight and I was ready to go ahead and let's, let's fight it out and let's go. Um, but yeah, that was a huge realization for me and you know, people don't understand each other's struggles. Uh, we, we judge.</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (12:32.747)
<br />cycle for a long time.</p>
<p>Steven L Burch (13:00.393)
<br />Judge it by its cover.</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (13:01.93)
<br />Yeah, I think that same thing. I think I went back 20 years on the timeline, which puts me to like, actually no, I must have gone back. Oh, I'm fired. I was still in high school. Because I think back, like I always tell people I would never go back to high school unless I was the person that I am today. And I think about all the shitty things that happened in high school. But then I actually like, as I was like writing them down, like some of like how that...</p>
<p>affected things that happened in college and then like first jobs or whatnot and you know one you see a little bit of repetitive behavior which for me I realized like I have some toxic traits as far as like I cut people off like a Like no other like if somebody It's bad. I mean if somebody does like something out of them like, you know, or like breaks that trust like I'm a hot one and done Which was very apparent on that</p>
<p>Steven L Burch (13:48.341)
<br />Same.</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (13:58.414)
<br />Um, and I think just things that, um, you know, like weight struggles that I've had, and I wrote down, like, you know, I used to try, I used to make myself throw up in college, you know, and like, you think about like how 20 years later, like what that effects have done to your body. And like, now we're just really realizing that. And I think it really is like a moment to like, take time, like, right. Appreciate who that was, what that was. It's gotten you to today.</p>
<p>But by being aware and being more subconscious of that, like all the good things that can come.</p>
<p>Steven L Burch (14:29.493)
<br />Absolutely, absolutely. It's absolutely crazy. One of my favorite stories that you shared with me is you had a client, you were showing them houses and I believe that they were driving an Escalade at the time. I don't remember what you were driving, but I'll let you tell the story. Like I love this story.</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (14:42.756)
<br />Thank you.</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (14:48.794)
<br />Yeah, so if we were to rewind it back a little bit, they've been past clients and they were just selling some land. Like super this guy, like he is a teddy bear. But at that time I was like, like grizzly and I was definitely afraid of him. Whatever we did a small transaction for a piece of land they had and he had always talked about that they used to get the same car.</p>
<p>because, right, you get a new car and the comment is, it must be nice. And right, so the people, which I've done myself, like we've actually like made changes or decided not to buy something because of the fact that I didn't want to hear, it must be nice. And like when I actually like sit down and think about that now, I'm like, what in the God's green earth? So anyway, they were in Cadillacs and then it came time to sell their personal home and I had a Yukon at the time.</p>
<p>and my Yukon, I like parked it next to the Cadillac and I legit have a picture of like their Cadillac in my Yukon and um he comes out and he's like what are we doing? And then I was like oh you know just checking out what it's like to you know have a Cadillac and you know he's like Ashley I don't get it what is your problem? I was like what are you talking about? He's like why don't you just buy one you work really hard I know you work hard you deserve it and then I said you know what people are gonna say and then he was like</p>
<p>You can't take it with you when you die, you know, might as well enjoy it while you can. So I sat on it for a while and, um, thought about it and kind of hemmed and hoed, but looked around, but that was when you couldn't buy a car like to save your life. Uh, so got put on this wait list. Um, and, uh, you know, unfortunately, um, they had something come up and, um, he had cancer. He passed away of cancer and that was a pretty tough time. And a couple of months ago, um, his wife came to.</p>
<p>to visit me just to stop by and she said, I heard you got a new Cadillac. And I was like, I did. And she's like, I have to see it. So I took her out to the car and I showed her. And, you know, the way that I viewed it was I literally spent probably a good majority of my time in my car. So if I'm going to be in my car a good portion of time, like, why not have something that is comfortable? I have clients in my car all the time. So we're throwing it around. And then I like was like, where do you park?</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (17:14.925)
<br />And she kind of pointed over and it was she didn't have a Cadillac. And I was like. Where's the Cadillac? And then she's like, oh, you know, this color was different and he kind of liked it when we drove by. So we decided, you know, just to get the I think it was Yukon or something. And I actually like I hate it. I hate everything about it. She's like, I it's nothing like when I drove the Cadillac and I literally, you know, right, so this is like a full circle. I was like, well, why aren't you getting the Cadillac?</p>
<p>And then right in my head, I'm like, how is this happening that I'm having this same conversation? And then she said, well, you know what people are going to say? And I was like, and then I got in my defense mode of, and why in God's green earth do you care what anybody else thinks about what car you drive? And her thing was that somebody would relate it to her husband passing away. And I was like, girlfriend.</p>
<p>Steven L Burch (17:50.485)
<br />that I hope to have with you.</p>
<p>Steven L Burch (18:06.714)
<br />Mm-hmm.</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (18:12.474)
<br />if anyone says that they belong in no part of your life, they are horrible people, and the only people really that matter are you and your closest family. Like if they're happy for you, and she's like, well, they did tell me I should just get it. And then I was like, well, then here we are. And I was like, if your husband knew we were having this conversation right now, what would he say? And she's like, oh, yeah. So she sat there for a little bit, and then she looked at it, and she's like.</p>
<p>Steven L Burch (18:17.333)
<br />Absolutely.</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (18:40.522)
<br />What color do you think I should get? So I have to follow up with her, but I think right, like it's for me, like it, I remember like, I think I had a call with you that day. So I was actually pretty emotional about it. One, you know, because we miss him a great deal, but secondly, like for me, that was like how far I've come to be able to been like, like never in a million years. I care what people think too much. And then to be able to like have that same conversation with someone, but.</p>
<p>You know, it is sad, like the more and more you talk to people, you know, people make comments about the Cadillac, which is fine, and I'm over it. But I typically tell that, like, I don't, you know, I don't care anymore. I'm like, people can say what they want. I'm happy. My family's happy. I work hard. But people are so apt to tell you the things that they aren't doing. So like I had someone that was like, yeah, you know, we just get the same boat because we don't want anybody to know we got a boat. And I, same thing. I was like, what? You know, and I-</p>
<p>Steven L Burch (19:25.813)
<br />Absolutely.</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (19:35.222)
<br />I just wish that there was a way for like everyone to just not like why are we carrying what other people do like care about like right you like water the where you water the grass is greener right so just take care of your own shit and if someone else has a great boat like great good for them when can i get a ride</p>
<p>Steven L Burch (19:45.533)
<br />Yeah.</p>
<p>Steven L Burch (19:51.077)
<br />Absolutely. Let me hit you ride. I think that such an amazing story, I mean, like full circle for sure. And I mean, you're empowering somebody else. And I think that just it can goes back to what we were kind of starting out with, like much rather help other people and lift them up versus, you know, have them try to degrade me. And here we are, you know, helping others. And you never know where they are in their life and their journey. So, yeah, and you kind of hit on it a little bit.</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (19:54.519)
<br />Yeah.</p>
<p>Steven L Burch (20:19.833)
<br />And I never realized it until I started doing my high performance coaching. Like fear of success and fear of money of I can't show people that I make money. So I was always told like, I can't drive a nice car because then somebody is not going to hire me because I make too much money. And so therefore they're going to go with somebody else that needs it or deserves it and because I'm intimidating. Like what in the world? Like that is the most.</p>
<p>ask backwards thinking that you can tell somebody that, you know, you have to make sure that you drive this style of vehicle to so that you can continue to get clients like no.</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (20:59.17)
<br />To be honest though, I know we're all on Facebook, real estate mastermind Facebook groups or whatnot, and I can't tell you the amount of times that someone posts, you should never drive a nice car, your clients are gonna hate you. And I'm to the point where a lot of times I just don't partake anymore because the craziness is over the fact. But the way that I look at it is that if that is already how the transaction's gonna start. I don't.</p>
<p>I have a good feeling about how the rest of that transaction is going to go, but to me, I don't, I think it's affected my business. I think the way that, um, you know, I've had prior clients and they know what I drove before. And for me, they normally say like, oh my gosh, I love it. Like, where did you get it? I'm so happy for you. And that's what I feel. I mean, I think you look at it as a devil's advocate in that same sense. Like somebody might be like, you know what? They must have do pretty good in their job. I do think I want to hire them.</p>
<p>So I think that's all over Facebook groups. And I can't stand that. Just drive what's within your means, drive what makes you comfortable. And business should just come not because of what you're driving, but because of who you are as a human and what type of work you do for your clients.</p>
<p>Steven L Burch (22:07.921)
<br />As long as I get there on time and make my appointment and we're good. That's all that should be mattered in first judgment there, right? Um, well on the topic of vehicles, I got an erect today. Yeah, I didn't tell you cause I wanted to see your reaction. Um, somebody, somebody hit me, um, going down the street and they were pulling, pulling out and then I was trying to get over to the next lane. Cause I saw them coming. Um, nope. And just kind of little, little bump, little to do.</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (22:15.591)
<br />Right.</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (22:20.411)
<br />What?</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (22:25.055)
<br />Okay.</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (22:36.614)
<br />I'm glad you're okay. You're gonna catch me off guard? Or you like knew it was coming?</p>
<p>Steven L Burch (22:38.225)
<br />Yeah, me too. But no, it was just the body damage though. And that's the other thing. Well, like I like saw her coming and I was like, oh, move over. And I was not moving over quick enough. She she gave me a nice little love tap in her big o GMC in Duramax. So but hey, everybody was good. It was it was only body damage. And that's the at the end of the day, that's the thing. It's it's only a car. Like, I don't like.</p>
<p>Yes, it's irritating. Yes, I have to go, you know, get body and go to the body shop or whatever. Oh, could you imagine I could even I was calm, cool and collected during this whole process. This like today, I could not even imagine if I would have had a brand new vehicle that I was supposed to be having right now. So I would I would have lost myself. So but it was like in looking at her, like you could tell that she it was a total accident. So it's just a.</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (23:10.062)
<br />which just makes me think of a different car, right? Obviously that process.</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (23:30.768)
<br />All right.</p>
<p>Steven L Burch (23:34.533)
<br />It's just a payment. I mean, like, yeah. And at the end of the day, that's all that mattered. So, shouldn't judge. We shouldn't have been living through materialistic stuff like that whatsoever and making sure that everybody is good at the end of the day, helping each other out, regardless if they hit you or not. Ha ha ha.</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (23:35.818)
<br />and everyone was okay.</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (23:52.15)
<br />Right? You don't know what kind of day they had. You don't know where they're coming from. Nothing.</p>
<p>Steven L Burch (23:55.921)
<br />Right? Not at all. But yeah, it's been a fun day. So here we are. Yeah. Good. Well, thank you for sharing your story with the Cadillac. And I think that, A, you should definitely tell your client to listen to this so that she can see how her husband impacted your life and then being able to have that full turnaround to be there still as</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (24:00.458)
<br />I'm glad we're good.</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (24:18.672)
<br />No.</p>
<p>Steven L Burch (24:23.089)
<br />as a friend and a client to be able to help her through that process too. So that's absolutely amazing. So cool. Well, here we are. We're right at 24 minutes. So we'll wrap up and thank you guys for listening. Hopefully you will tune into the next one. We're excited to drop it soon. So go ahead and subscribe, like, and give us a share. We have a goal that we're trying to hit here within the first quarter of 24. So.</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (24:29.266)
<br />Sure. Thank you.</p>
<p>Ashley Fredrick (24:34.062)
<br />Thank you.</p>
<p>Steven L Burch (24:50.985)
<br />help us out a little bit and get some people to subscribe for us. So thanks for listening.</p>
<p>Steven L Burch (24:58.453)
<br />Thanks for watching.</p>
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