Leader or Lifeline?

And it's so difficult because all the change and we. Before we even started recording, that's what we were talking about. Like, the change has to start with you. You have to realize it first. You have to look in the mirror and to be able to see. Like, if I want these people to stop coming to me for every single little freaking thing, then maybe I need to change what I need to do, too. Welcome to the Leading Lane podcast for Real Estate Pros by Real Estate Pros, with your hosts, Ashley Frederick and Steven Burch. If you're looking for an honest, authentic, and raw perspective, you found it. All right, welcome to the Leading Lane podcast. We're going to do a rapid fire. Ashley, are you the leader or are you the lifeline? It depends on the day. Depends on my mood. Right. That's awesome. Let's drill into this. So leader. Define leader for me. Let's first start there. Yeah, I think there's so many different versions of leader, and I think that a lot of times people just think it's whoever's in charge, which, sure, that makes sense in the simplest form, but to me, it's really who can get people in the right direction, who can get people moving in the right direction, who can get people to make changes, to do positive things. I think I write, like, I have a little saying behind me that lead by example. So I don't think you necessarily have to be a quote unquote leader. Right. Like, you can be anybody in a company, but if you're leading by example, by how you treat people, how you show up for work, I even say, like, for me, like, maybe different from male to female, not necessarily, but how you dress for work. Right. So, like, are you coming to work dressed as a professional, or are you coming to work in your pajama bottoms, footed sweatshirt, hair undone? Right. Like, so, same thing. Like, as a leader, I try to show up professionally every single day and hope that that trickles down. So I. I think that a leader is one that is trying to show the goods of doing the good things and ways to make strides, to make an impact on others. Okay, so when we talk about a lifeline. Yeah. What is. How does that resonate with you? What is that? What does that mean to you? Yeah, that's an interesting one because there's so many ways to think about a lifeline. I think that when you come or you think about it from, like a business thing or from a leader role, you don't necessarily. I guess I don't want to necessarily always be the lifeline in that I want people to feel comfortable enough to make decisions on their own, to be confident in their decisions so that it isn't this kind of like we've talked about like a, like the baby bird syndrome, right? Like you want to be a, a lifeline, but you don't want to be like they can't make decisions on their own. So the term lifeline, I think it's like loosely if, if you think that your little, little chart is starting to get a little to a low on the beeping, that you would know that you could reach out to me and we'd get you back in, in rhythm, if you will. Okay. So when you look at it from the leadership standpoint, and maybe you've experienced this, maybe you haven't, but when people come to you because you are the, you know, the, the main person constantly and it's, they're, they're always bringing every single thing to you. What do you do? How do you handle that? You know, saying about that the other day, like I should just write down one day like what questions I get, how many times, you know, and I actually was thinking like, I think we've talked about it before, but decision fatigue. And I think probably that by the end of the day when I get home, I don't want to talk to anybody because I've made a thousand choices for the company, for myself, for other people and I, we've talked about it as well, but I think it's kind of the, putting it back in, into their shoes, if you will. And I think that that's how also you're a leader now. There are some questions that they would not have answers to or it is a true problem. So we're going to try to problem solve it together. But I think it's really the leadership part comes from what would you do? Or either that or they've told me what they've thought and then I've been like, what about if this happens, right? So I think a lot of times people are quick to a conclusion, but not necessarily like you and I were talking about earlier, someone wants to fight putting a radon mitigation system in and then the buyer gets cancer seven years down the road. Like did anyone think that far into that process, you know, that that's an outcome? So I think the non stop, if you will, questions, I think they've gotten better because we're trying to make them think for themselves and be more confident in those decisions. But I tell people, I mean what I'm almost 14 years into real estate. And still daily that things will come up and I'll be like, well, we haven't had that happen yet. I don't know why. Maybe because the world is changing in so many different facets that these are just things we wouldn't think of. And I was like, I never would have thought of that before. So there is something about being a leader that you do have to be able to think on your toes, but you also have to be confident in your decisions. So I'm a high D. Like, I can't. No. Oh, my God. I don't know. Whatever meeting I was at the other day, I was like, I'm gonna, I. We're gonna have to. I'm gonna have to move. I'm gonna have to. Can we get back to the agenda? But I think that's a benefit. Obviously there can be withdrawals too, of being a leader. Is that I. You have to be confident in your decisions. Like, I. Some of these answers can't wait three hours or whatnot or for time to me to think about it. So you have to be, Yep, like we're gonna do this. And you have to be confident in what that outcome will look like. But it comes with time. Right. It doesn't happen overnight. It comes with years of experience, years of up and downs, years of making the wrong decision and learning the consequences. Yeah. You know, I think when I first got into leadership roles, it was that I had to know everything. Yeah. And I have to do everything. Right. Like, and I think being an entrepreneur, you start doing, I mean, you start with doing everything yourself. That's the only way to. To get things done. Because, I mean, I didn't have staff, I didn't have anybody to push projects onto or be able to, you know, expand. It was just a one man show. So as I grew into that and having more people underneath me, I was like, oh, I have to know it all. And really what I was doing is just creating, being a lifeline. And it's now making them come to me for every single thing. I mean, let's be clear, that's. That's no longer that way. They know better now. Right. I know better now as well. But I think you think that that's the way it's supposed to be. And until somebody, you know, points that out, that like, you're your own worst bottleneck and trying to grow your company, if everybody is coming to you for every single thing. I mean, you hire people and you put people on your team to be able to expand and get Things off of your plate. Really the goal now the way that I try to really look at stuff when I'm working is because I used to be go, go, go. As much as I possibly can is literally like how quickly can I get this off of my plate to either somebody else or make a decision. And my goal is to do less, but make more. And it's wild to think that way. Do less, but make more. And it's taken a good while to be able to do it. And there's still times that people come to me, but I, I really find that they already know the answer. They already have. They already have this in their brain of what the right answer is. They're really looking for that validation and reassurance that they are making the correct decision. But also with just like us like we had to learn with through our mistakes. And as hard as it is to watch some of these train wrecks happen, you gotta, gotta let it go right? Like you gotta let them learn for themselves. And I don't have kids. And so maybe that's the same way of you're gonna have to throw some dirt on it and brush it off and keep on going, you know, type of thing. So well. And I think it's, you know, like real estate is such a unique industry and that people come into it, some young people, right. Without a career before that. But a lot of people had already had a career in some other type of business where you didn't have the ability to think for your own or you had that boss that if you did think on your own like you'd get punished for it or whatnot. So I think that there's always to this weird trade off. It's kind of like what we talked about with ant, like when you come from a structured work environment or whatnot and you have to transition into the self employment and that you can make decisions and you are your own boss and whatnot. So I think there's always this. That's part of it is almost like a detox if you will of not being able to think for yourself because you couldn't in your past job. But I think you know, the sometimes I tell people like mistakes sometimes will make you that much better of a person. Like one, you probably will never make that mistake again. Two, you were able to critically learn like what could I have done better? What could I have done differently? So you know, a lot of times we look at mistakes as such a negative thing which they suck, right? They, they happen. But nine times out of 10 it shapes us into who we are today. Like we talk about, I'm not the same person I was 10 years ago. Right. Left through a lot of mistakes, a lot of failures, but again, that didn't get us to where we are today without those. Yeah. So how do you like, even though that you might know the answer and you know that the team member knows the answer as well? A. With being a high D, is it extremely difficult just not to, like, spit it out and tell them exactly the bullet points of what to do and how to get there? Oh, I. I have this. You want me to show you what I have on my desk? Well, let's see. I don't know. If I showed you this, you're gonna laugh. It's on the back of my candle. I don't know if you can read it. Don't. I can't see it. Don't answer. And then what does it say? 1, 3. 1. Yes. So you have to look at it every. That's from when I was there. Huh. That's awesome. Because my automatic is my to answer because it's just. It takes less time and they got what they were looking for, and I still catch myself. And sometimes I'll answer, and I'm like, wait, pretend I didn't answer that. What are other options? So I have it there. And then when they come in and I'll be like, it's just at the tip of your tongue and you just want to answer. And then I'd be like, well, what do you think would be some options? What were you thinking of before you came in here? And then normally they'll get to some piece of it. And then again, it's kind of trying to walk them through those. We're trying to train them to think critically versus just straight answers. Because there is real, no black and white in real estate. I mean, everything is great and interpretations are great and what the other side, you know, interprets too. So it is very difficult. You know, it's not like I trying to answer because I want to rush them, but for me, it's just like, I'll welcome the answer and they know right away and they can carry on. But it really is that developmental stage, and I. I have to catch myself. I think probably more so in text messages when you get a question,. Just. Not a quick response. The one thing I've really had to work on, I'll, like, type it out and I'll be like. And I'll delete the whole thing. And then I say, that's a great question. Could you post that in Blink for me? And then they'll be like, oh, I didn't even think about that. I'm like, no, but great. I guarantee you someone else has had that same question. That's a great question. I'd love to see some other input. The thing that I like about Blink too is that it's an opportunity to see how other people's wheels are turning. And it's opportunity for me to correct other people's wheels that are turning maybe incorrectly or be like, yep, great job. And then like we've talked about, it's a great, you know, tool library for when those questions come up before. So, you know, I think as far as the, the lifeline part of it too, as we grow and we get the other. Right. People in the equation, I think that that's also where lifelines come into play. So. Right. Like Jessica, our office manager, I view her as a lifeline to the agents or our director of training. Right. So to me, I don't want it to be like, there's just one path of clarity. And I mean, yes, you want clarity, but like, there's other ways to get there. So when you have other people that are confident in their decision making and know the business, I think that helps with the lifeline. So that you never want someone, like, to feel like they're on a raft by themselves. Right. And you're throwing them one lifeline and that one line flying may or may not make it to the raft. Where if we had three or four lifelines, like, what's the ability that we're going to make it to the raft sooner or quicker, more efficiently. Right, right. You're looking for more channels, more pathways. Absolutely. So, you know, the other thing here too is we're trying to help them think critically. But let's get real though, too, like with clients, right. Like when you're working with a buyer, seller, and you can't say, well, what do you think they're Mr. Or Mrs. Seller, like, what's your 131? Right. Because in that role, it's our job to have the answers and guide them through those things. Right. Like, and it's, it's still not giving them the direct, like, this is what you do. It's giving them the options for them to be able to make an educated decision to move forward. So reversed, Right, Absolutely. And so I can totally see, you know, I, I see it all the time in clients that that's just all they're used to doing. I'm not saying that it's wrong. But you either put your agent hat on and now you can be the. The lifeline for your client. And then you almost have to switch hats on that different role now as the leader, the manager, whatever you are. And you can't be the sole lifeline there forever because you're trying to empower them. And really, if you don't empower them and you don't change, you're not gonna be able to help change them either. And it's so difficult because all the change and we, before we even started recording, that's what we were talking about. Like, the change has to start with you. You have to realize it first. You have to look in the mirror and to be able to see, like, if I want these people to stop coming to me for every single little freaking thing, then maybe I need to change what I need to do too. I think you make a good point about like buyers and sellers, like two examples this week, like buyer, that the other side wasn't getting back to us with any repair options or whatnot. And so, you know, I think that buyers and sellers want us to give them the answer. But at the end of the day, I'm not purchasing the house and I'm not selling your house. So I can't truly make that decision for you. But best I can do is educate you. So I literally gave like the three options. Like, we can extend, we can change our request for repairs, or we can deliver notice. What are you comfortable doing? Right. So we came up with a plan, but same thing. On a feller side, we had a situation that, you know, there's mold in the house in a crawl space because crawl space and addicts are our best friends, you know, so same thing. I was like, we can go back with this because she said, what do you think I should do? Well, if you don't fix it, I mean, it's going to come up again. So I mean, yes, I do think we need to fix it regardless. But we could also give on this. We could take this out. We could take this out. What are you comfortable doing? But I can't just be like, do this. Then at the end of the day, like, I want them to have skin in the game too, that they were comfortable making their decision and they're comfortable at the end of the day, when we get to the closing table. Absolutely. And that's what we're there for. I mean, like, we're leading them in a different way. Right. Like, I mean, it's. I look at it now that my agents are my clients and then their clients are actually my customers. And then. So it's hard to switch when you're really always in the weeds with everything. But, and, and that's kind of what I go back to is I want to make the least amount of decisions possible and I'm not going to make the decision for my, my client or my customer. They need to make it and I'm there to guide them through and coach them through. But until they speak it, until they actually come up with idea and speak it to truth, like it's not going to happen and I'm going to beat a dead horse over and over. Right. Because they don't have that buy in whatsoever. I just had a seller and I presented a counter or an offer earlier this week and they said we'll counter with whatever you advise. Well, I love that. Thank you. However, I need to know that you know what your options are, what. And then, you know, decide on agreement. And then, I mean, so right there is that part of like appreciating that people trust you that much to make those decisions for them. But at the end of the day, like, we still need to make sure that they understand their options, understand where the outcomes will be. So it is really a matter of communication at the end of the day. Absolutely. And we kind of, I know that we might have talked about what a one three one is. Sure. But what does a one three one really mean? That when we're asking this, and this is for people with, you know, that you're managing them, you're leading them, so your employees, team members and everything else. So what is one three one? So it's, they're coming to you with the one problem or concern that they have. And then you're asking them to come up with three solutions. And of those three solutions, which one do they think is the best? So. Right. The whole point is they basically end up talking themselves through the problem. And they're not always right when they get through the one three one. Right. Might have pieces of it, but at least we were able to get them to think outside the box. And then we'll make throw in questions. Did you think about what happens if this happens? And so sometimes it's a combination of solution two and three. Right. To get to the final solution. So I think it's just really helpful for critical thinking. And if you think about that, it's just, it's not even in real estate. It's in life choices too. Like if we can help them think about other choices that they're making and they get into this critical thinking habit, you know, it'll just make them that much, you know, stronger or hopefully less likely to make mistakes or less likely to not feel confident in their decisions. Absolutely. But my, you know, I think the other part of that too, it's kind of like we're talking about is if you get your agents comfortable enough in that critical thinking all of the time, then they should be able to pass that on to their clients. Right. And then their clients get to problem solving transactions. I even view it as, you know, we talk about how we don't have control over other agents, which. Yes and no. Right. But if the other agent and you're going to problem solve, if the other agent can be like, I never thought of that as a solution. I mean, technically, hopefully that agent learns something. They may not be with our office, but maybe the next time they write on our property, they know that that's now a solution or maybe that just makes them a better agent for the clients that they're working with. Absolutely. It's a ripple effect. Right. And even for, for the internal side of things, if you're holding everybody to the same standard of the 1, 3, 1, and you're making everybody within your whole organization think critically next time that they have a sidebar conversation without you, the goal here is to get them to then brainstorm together and better come up with a solution before they even come up to you. Right. So it's empowering, it's creating the culture. And that pushback is. So we are putting it to blink or whatever the communication plan is. But what I love about doing that is one, they now know when they come to me, they need to have these solutions. Right? Like not the solution, but at least solutions to present and to, to go through. But I love now watching where, what is their brain map? How did, how did we get there? How did they, you know, come to this determination? And the more that you have these open conversations and instead of having the agent or whoever, you know, claim up and go away, like having these open conversations of how did you arrive at this? Really makes me be able to see what their brain is doing. So the next time that they present something to me, me, I can handle a little bit better, or maybe I can relate it a little bit better to hit home so that it resonates way more and they can comprehend it versus just saying, well, I, that's the answer. And you know, putting the order in and doing an order taker type of thing. So I think it's A, it's a training opportunity too. But you know, I think it's great when we're in the office and I'll hear people like well I asked so and so for their thoughts and it is all about collaboration, which I, I mean I say over and over again. That's what I love about our office is that there is no like you versus me versus cutthroat type of thing. It's all about helping each other in each other's transactions and that's how we all, we all flourish. And like all agents are doing well and all agents are busy. And I think that all comes from working together and being able to help people think outside the box. And I think even for me like having a new employee come in and be able to see that from an outsider, like, wow, they work really well together. Like they're just a well oiled machine. Like to me that helps, I think them feel comfortable and like, yep, I've made the right choice. This is going to be easy for me to get into these roles, be a part of this team. So it's just kind of an allaround goodness, if you will. Well, I mean again you're creating the culture and it drives me not like I think that word is way overused all the time. Right Then same thing with oh, we're family here. And it's hard to describe like what a family feeling is in a work environment. Let's be honest, there's a lot of families that are shit shows, so. Absolutely. And, and that's why I tell everybody too when we talk about it like, I mean, do we have our, our turbulence and you know, family feuds in here too? Yeah, we absolutely do. But every family does. But you know, people are always like, how do you create this culture? How do you get your agents to show up? Or how do you get your agents to, you know, contribute to these types of things? It's because we are so cohesive and we, we do the collaboration and really is the hard work, the long game. But once you create that culture internally, my opinion is now when you add somebody else into the company, just like what you recently have done and you open them or welcome them with open arms and you had your new admin, you know, her favorite stuff, you know, on her first day, you know, these culture type of collaboration, it gives a completely different vibe and that is when they can see that, you know, now I can step up and be my own self, be my authentic self and it's okay. And it's okay to ask questions And I think when you get the right team members, like you said already, you just multiply you. You multiply your production and it really helps everybody truly stay on track. Yeah, well, and I think it. I think sometimes, like, people can come out of their shells, right? So Jessica is a prime example. Like, she was in the city little shell when we started her, and now she's outspoken in a good way. Right. And helpful or whatnot. So the same, I think, is true for our new admin. Like, you can kind of tell. Quiet, reserved, and I'm sure after a good year with us, that won't be quite the case. Right? But that helps everybody, like, in their life circumstances. So, like when you're having problems, you know, with a insurance agent on your own house, right, like, you're not comfortable enough to have those types of conversations or to stand up for yourself. So I just think that it's interesting to watch it, like, trickle to just everyday life. And I have to tell you, because it's in my head going back to the way you dress as a leader last time when I was at your office and we were going over your policy manual and sitting in there in your office, I'm reading and it talks about not wearing jeans during the week, and here I am wearing jeans and I was like, oh, shit. So it does make sense. I did make an exception today because today is so. It does make you stop and think and having that expectation up front, like it to me, it just. It's way better like to. To do that. But I just thought it was really funny because you said that. So. Yeah, I told you, you were excused. Too funny. Well, you know, at the end of the day, leader and lifeline, I think that you do have to really be in both for a while to understand which one is truly the. The benefit. And once you really understand and grasp, you understand being a leader is way better than being a lifeline. So good chat. I always appreciate it. Yep. Cool. Well, thanks for listening to the Leading Lane podcast as always. If you guys have any comments, questions, concerns, you can leave the emotional outburst somewhere else and reach out to us. Love to hear from you. If you've enjoyed today's episode, please, like, subscribe and share with others. Stay connected for more genuine insights and strategies to boost your real estate career on Facebook or check out our website. We'll see you next time.