Prioritize Yourself with Clear Expectations

Make it a priority. Make it a priority to be able to have the relaxation, the refresh, the. the resets. Make it a priority to have systems in play, to be able to, to work for you, not against you. Make it a priority to communicate your expectations and let people know that you're human and make yourself a freaking priority. Welcome to the Leading Lane Podcast for Real Estate Pros by Real Estate Pros with your hosts, Ashley Frederick and Steven Burch. If you're looking for an honest, authentic and raw perspective, you found it. Welcome to the Leading Lane podcast. All right, so today, first off, we're getting ready to go on a vacation and I think both of us are ready for this. But it's funny because we're talking about coming off of the, the broker fast track retreat and dealing with people that have said, you know, I, I don't have time to, to be able to go and go to the retreat or go to on vacation or spend time with family or whatever the case may be. It does not matter what it is. But I feel that people right now are so inundated in all of their daily work that they're not prioritizing the. Their needs whatsoever. And I know, you know, Ashley, we've talked about before, like, feeling guilty for going on a trip, let alone a wink or out of the country or whatever the case may be. But how do you feel now and how do you prepare to, to be able to go? Like, what do you have to do? Yeah, you know, I think that, yeah, I used to not even like, go on vacation. I think that I went like one time, like three years without going on vacation. And that's not healthy. And I think that there's a lot of things that have changed as far as just realizing that if you want to continue to perform at the highest level, that you have to give yourself a break. And I guess I don't take it as personally anymore if someone is upset that I went on vacation because I normally turn around and like, I mean, do you go on vacation? I mean, like, I saw the pictures on, on Facebook, like, you went on vacation and it's okay. So why is it any different than I can't. I think it's probably changed a little bit more in that I'm probably more frequent with vacations now. So I have like one client that I was on vacation the last time she closed on a property and I'm going to be on vacation when we're having an open house and some showings on her on another one of our properties. I Know she doesn't. But that was like me internally, like, oh my God, she's going to think that I just take vacations. But we're also six months apart, so completely fine. But you know, I think we talked about it one other time that I was on a vacation, hit the fan, whatever, and we created a standard of process of what to happen before you leave vacation. So I was very prepared this week. So I have this fantastic Excel spreadsheet. Actually be very surprised it's a Google sheet, so I can with people. Although you haven't filled out the other one that we're sharing. But anyway, so I have on there every single listing, like the seller's contact information, which agent is covering them, the closing date and everybody that's a buyer and who's covering them, closing date, a little asterisk of what needs to be done and then who are my current buyers. And it's all on a sheet. And I assign them out to six different agents. And then this week I was very adamant about sending an out of office notification to every single person that I'm working with. And it cc'd the other agent and told them the expectations of how, what would happen while I was gone, if there was anything that needed to be done while they were gone. Like, I'm very lucky right now that almost everyone's in that weird lull of just like waiting to close, you know. So I was like, you're basically waiting to close, but should you have any questions while I'm gone, here it is, right. Or there's an inspection scheduled for the fifth. So and so will assist you and we'll address when I return. And I think this time was the most amount of responses that I had from people that said, I hope you have nothing but the best time. It's so well deserved. Don't worry about us, we'll be fine. And so I think that a lot of people appreciate the clear expectations being delivered ahead of time. Where in the past I used to try to hide that I was going on vacation. So I used to not even put a out of office on, on my phone or my email because I was like, nope. Like I can still address it, do it in the morning, I can just tell them I'm out of town today and someone else would do a showing for them. And I get like why we tried to do that because we're always afraid that someone's going to move on to someone else. Well, a lot of these think with the way that we've shifted the way that we do business like they're under buyer agency contracts. They're not shifting on to anyone else. I very clearly said, we'll take care of you while I'm gone. We'll pick up where we left off when I return. So I think that it's being more confident in yourself, but also more confident in the people that you are handing off to. And they have strong confidence that everyone here can take care of my people. That's why they work in this office. And I think it's really just the realization that we can't do it all, all the time. Like, our bodies aren't meant to run 247 and that really you need resets to gear up for big plans and a busy summer, and it's okay. Well, that's. I mean, that's huge, right? Like, how does that make you feel with now having it all that laid out like that? More calm, you know? Like, I think most of us that have real estate offices also have lawyers. Right. And there's always moving parts and same thing. Like, both Ben and I emailed our lawyers of, hey, if anything were to happen in the next week, can you hold it for a week? You just never know, right? Like, there's nothing that necessarily pending, but always when you least expect it. Or like, right, we're trying to deal with an eviction on a property and that's a disaster and there's no sense in taking care of it while we're gone, like one a week and do that. So I think that for me, it's just more calm. But I. And you'll have to help me while I'm gone. But it is just having the ability to not. Like, we're addicted to our phones, we're addicted to our emails. Like, we have to break that tie somehow. Which, by the way, a friend of ours that was there earlier this year told me that she didn't get a lot of her text messages when she was there. So I was like, okay, like, I need to make sure that for sure everyone knows that I am away. So I think it's just the ability to actually try to relax and enjoy the time and not be preoccupied with work is what I'm looking forward to the most. Yeah. And you know, and kudos to you because I know that's difficult. And it. It's kind of funny because I think I've always done the same thing. Like, let us not tell everybody. Right? Like, let's not make a production out of it. But I think, you know, clear is kind. Unclear, is unkind in Those expectations. It's not, it's not bad to have the expectations. What's bad is when we don't articulate them. And so maybe us actually trying to protect or make sure that we're not getting judged or whatever actually backfired on us a bit. But really, like, what is another couple days? And the reality of whatever the information is or timeline, and as long as there's a channel of, you know, communication doesn't mean that you're not unreachable. It just means that there's somebody else in play to be able to help and stand in for the time being. And the beauty of this too is that you train and work with these agents that are handling these transactions for you. They're in your office, so they know your level of expectation, they know your level of standards, and so you know that your clients and customers are going to be taken care of. So I'm sure that's a huge relief off of you whatsoever. I think we pride ourselves on, in some odd sense of always being available. Like there's that weird, right? Like we want to be there for our clients all the time. And so that's why I think we used to shy away from it. But in all reality, we're just doing them a disservice by being quiet about it. So with that being said, looking and having this knowledge now, looking back and trying to help somebody that, you know, says, oh, I, I can't get away to, to go on vacation or I can't go and go to that seminar or whatever, whatever it is, I don't even care if it's, you know, I, I have clients that can't even make it to their grandkids baseball game because they don't prioritize and make this, you know, they want to go, but they, they just feel that they can't because of the skill. What are some suggestions that you take tell people that? How would you handle that now? Yeah, I think that we're too hard on ourselves, right. And I think it is a matter of priorities. And I think sometimes people need a reality check of life is too short and things can change on a dime. And is that last minute showing more important than your grandson's baseball game? Right. So I think like, we have to start to reframe the way that we value our time with those we care about most. And I think it's really a matter of finding a supportive team. So a lot of those situations, right, we'll throw into our blink system and say, like, it's you know, we'll get like, it's the kids recital tonight. Is there anybody that could help me out with the showing? And I think that that is where team camaraderie, that's where it just gets a little bit easier for you to be like, it's okay. Or sometimes, like last night we had rpac, which was our largest, you know, fundraiser for our local organization. And nobody did showings last night. Right. Like everybody just said, like, unfortunately, I'm unavailable tonight, which every other realtor was unavailable tonight. But then just offer them another time. And I think as long as it's not just a no or, you know, you can offer them a backup, most people are fine as long as you're clear with them. And really, like, what I'm hearing here is it's self respect because, I mean, let's be clear, like if you were to tell somebody, hey, like, I need, I have my grandkids baseball game tonight. I really wanted to go and I was planning on going. You know, I'm willing to make the exception. But I, you know, I want to be there for my family too. If you show, if you humanize the transaction and humanize yourself. Because if we're only texting or emailing or, I mean, even if it's over the phone, like if we're so robotic of yes, yes, yes, and trying to, you know, make sure that we're there for them constantly, they. They don't necessarily see it. So giving them that reality check of, hey, I'm human too, I'm here, I want to, but I really want to, you know, prioritize my family, I think that you would get a totally different response. I also think that if you come across the people that don't respect that. Yeah. I don't know if that's the right client in the long run. Right. Like, because if that's just, if you're just beginning and they don't understand it, like, what's the rest of the transaction gonna be like? And I think that again, that goes back to where people are so afraid to, quote, unquote, fire a client or walk away. And if you think about the amount of anxiety, like you had to just potentially not do a showing, like, imagine what's going to happen in the rest of the transaction if it's a Friday night at 5 or, you know what I mean? Like all those types of things. So I think it goes back to again, knowing your worth. Because there are a lot of people that like to chase because they're trying to make, I think what do you always say tripping over pennies to make,. Tripping over dollars to make pennies? Correct. Right. So like it doesn't just necessarily make sense. And I think we've talked about that, especially with new agents that they're so afraid of, you know, the income, but yet they're beating themselves, you know, to try to appease someone that doesn't deserve their time and effort. And I think that that's where it comes from too, is that for so long we were taught like you just have to pound pavement and that you, it's the, it's whatever the buyer says you, the buyer asks, you know, like how, how high can you jump? Or you know, whatever and like how high do you want me to jump? So I think maybe reevaluating the client customer relationship with an agent and figuring out. But I think that goes back to expectations from day one. Right. So like when you're having a buyer consult, I normally tell people like it depends on the day. Like doing a same day showing could be very tough, but I can normally pitch you on the next day. I think I saw Stephanie Jones post like a while ago that I think somebody like asked her like, or got mad cause she couldn't do a same day showing and she was like, I'm booked for the next three days. Like we don't just live on whims here. Like that's not reality. But I think if you set people up for those expectations, I even like to say I typically don't do Sunday showings. You know, I prep people with that. To be honest, I don't do a whole lot of weekend showings either. But then when you do make those exceptions or I'll do early Saturday mornings, I think that they appreciate you a little bit more because they'll say like, oh, I thought you didn't really do showings. I appreciate you. Like, I know this is last minute, so I think it's starting with expectations clear. Absolutely. And you know, it's funny thinking back on like the emails that you're sending those co op agents that you know, like expectations. This is how it's going to be handled. Really what you're doing is you're, you're holding them accountable because you're, you're communicating to them up front and I'm sure that they actually appreciate it because you know, in this industry sometimes, a lot of times agents don't answer their phones or don't answer, you know, in a, in a, in a quick response time whatsoever on any method of communication. And so sometimes you know, like we talked about before, they're oversensitive to communication or their lack of. So getting communication ahead of time to give them a, you know, a glimpse of what's coming in the future, I think probably lessens their anxiety. And really what you're doing there, too, is if, hopefully nothing. But if something does happen while you're gone, and if they do not follow that. That communication plan, they try to call or try to text and try to say, oh, well, your text message, you know, you never responded and you never got it, and they didn't do what they were told or advised to do. You're holding them accountable. And I think that helps the conversations later on that may be a little bit tougher or be able to identify whose issue was it really, whose problem? Who developed this? Like, you can point the fingers at them way quicker than them to be able to continue to point fingers at you. Really funny that you say that. So I think the other thing that people have to remember is that, like, technology is not free of issues, right? Like, it doesn't always work. I mean, I've sent people emails, text messages that they never got. So I think it's always important to follow up with a phone call if it mysteriously has been a day or two. So I'll give you an example. Normally we go to a friend's house every year for Easter, and this year, like, I didn't get. I didn't get an invite. Like, I normally get, like a little in text invite, you know, to come to Easter. So Ben and I did nothing for Easter, but I think I stayed in my pajamas that whole day. That hasn't happened in a long time, but I got the house clean, all that good stuff, right? And I just figured maybe they were out of town or doing something different with their family. Like, no big deal. I wasn't upset about it or anything. So I run into her last night, and she was a little short, and I, like, kind of looked at her, and then she's like, yeah, missed you at Easter. That, you know, didn't even respond. And then I was like, what are you talking about? And she's like, yeah, like, you've been coming to Easter for how many years? And, like, you didn't show up this year and you never responded. And I was just like, I have no idea what you're talking about. She like, I sent you the invite. And I was like, nope, definitely didn't get it. And she's like, yes, I did. So we pull up both of our phones, right? So, like, it's on her phone that she sent it to me on April 11. There is no communication on my phone that I received anything on April 11th. Like, there was a message from the 8th and, like, the 15th, but nothing on the 11th. And she just, like, went white in the face. And she was like, oh, my God, I'm sick to my stomach. And then she's like, I told everyone that I thought that you were mad at me and I didn't know what happened. And now I feel bad that you didn't even go anywhere for Easter. And she's like, I'm. And she, like, said she was sorry like, 15 times. And I was like, it's no big deal. And she's like, I should have called. I knew something was wrong. And so. Right. Like, it just was a good reminder that there's no. There was no harm in play. But could you imagine, like, how many friendships or transactions are falling apart because, like, a simple text in this crazy world didn't get communicated? And then you automatically assume that somebody's mad? So, you know, we've been really pushing on that with our agents too, lately about a simple text. When you send an offer, send an amendment, something. Because let's be honest, like, a lot of times things end up in junk mail or whatnot. So I think it's just that clear, simple little reminder, like, hey, did you get this? Even another text? Right? Like, if you would have sent that and been like, did I get what? I think we just have to stop assuming that everything is hunky dory unless we actually know that it happened or they got it or whatnot. It's those stories we tell ourselves, right? I was like, why would I be mad at you? I don't understand. And, you know, like, it's not like you were mad at her, you know, for not getting the invite. And so she's carrying this weight around that. That sucks. Like, I mean, on so many different levels, for sure. So. So no lie. Like, while, like, during dinner, I got. I got, like, a invite to Easter 2026. I feel like that's something I would do. That's awesome. You know, I think it's also great, like, great for you to be able to laugh it off, right? Like, laugh with her and make her feel that, you know, it's. It's not either one of your faults. It's technology, and it's okay. And, like, there's a lot of people that wouldn't be able to even. Even do that or have that conversation or say the reason why. And ever discover it and think of how long that could have transpired and you just nipped it in the butt and had a face to face conversation. I think the other thing is I actually mentioned it in my newsletter, you know this earlier this month about like when you aren't taking those opportunities to get away for training or conferences, like how much opportunity you could be missing. Right. So you're, you're so afraid about the, what you're going to miss at home that you didn't go to a seminar where you made your business better in three days or you met someone that will change the trajectory. I mean literally, like write us, like we randomly met in St. Louis and look where it's been three years later. Like what if we would have never gone to St. Louis? You know, Like, I think that's where we all have to remember that like real estate will still move. Like we can still do things. I mean, but that's just it. We also live in a very electronic. Like you can write offers. I've wrote offers in Mexico before. Like, you know what I mean? Like, but I think the thing that was very interesting or I struggled with a little bit this week was I have a lot of listings coming up and. Cause I'm a little bit of a control freak. I didn't want them to be live like Monday because then I'm, I don't have control over the next week. But I discussed that with every seller. So I said like we could go live on the sixth. You'll have another agent that will take care of it while I'm gone. I don't think the one week on the market's gonna hurt you by any means. So if you're comfortable, I'd like to wait for the 12th, so I'll be here to handle it. Etc. And every single person was like, well no, we want you available so if we need to wait. And I like the guilt went away instantly because I just had that conversation with them and they were clearly on board with moving forward. Yeah, like I think that it, it again drills back to communication, clear expectations because they're humans as well. They want you to go enjoy your vacation, they want you to come back refreshed because they want you to be able to sell their property very quickly, very, you know, smooth transaction as well. So you have to take that time and, and you know what, like at the end of the day we can't even say that every person's going to be cheering you on and being like this and being so accepting and that's the beauty of it, that's they're not. They're not my people. Then, like, they. They don't know me very well. Then I. I don't want to work with them. And I, you know, I shared the story this last week about how that one of my biggest pet peeves is, oh, it must be nice. And saying, oh, like, no, it is, like, it is nice. I love it. Right? And so that was the running joke all week of all these brokers of, oh, it must be nice. But, you know, in reality, it was kind of funny because, you know, they were joking and I knew that they were joking. And one pulled me aside and I was like, you know, like, like I'm. I'm leaving as well, like for another week. And so that's two weeks that I'm gonna be gone. And I was like, I mean, I just got back, so I've been. I'll be gone basically out of. For three weeks. So I feel you. And she's like, I feel guilty. And you know, what happens with this? What happens with that? He said, this is exactly why you come. You came to this event is because you need to learn to be able to and put systems in play so your. Your business does not depend 100% on you. You're so far in your business that you can't even. Can't even see that you need this vacation and need this time away. And if you didn't invest in coming to this retreat, like, who knows how long it would be until you actually get out of this vicious cycle. Like, we have to matter of what I mean, right? Like, these little changes that you make to your business but that you learn at a retreat, like, should give you the option to leave the office more often or should be able to help you put those procedures in place so you feel okay leaving the office more often. Yeah. So it's just funny. I mean, again, it doesn't matter if it's a business trip or personal or vacation or whatever it is. Like, make it a priority. Make it a priority to be able to have the relaxation, the refresh, the. the resets. Make it a priority to have systems in play, to be able to. To work for you, not against you. Make it a priority to communicate your expectations and let people know that you're human and make yourself a freaking priority. I think it goes back to, you can't pour from an empty cup, so you have to fill up your own cup, which a lot of times comes from a reset. I totally agree. And I don't know about you when I come back from having a vacation or being away for a bit, like, that's when the creativity happens as far as, like, I don't have to be so inundated with all the hustle and everything else on the day to day grinding. I'm able to, you know, relax. I'm still thinking, we're still talking, we're still, you know, things are still going on. But then when I come back, I'm like, all right, let's hit the ground going, and I feel great and let's continue to go. It's, it's the recharge that I truly need every single time. Right? So great conversation and I appreciate you guys all listening in and, and continuing to send us positive vibes and great messages. So please continue to do so. If you'd like to be a guest on our podcast, please don't hesitate to reach out. We would love to have you. 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