Real with Heidi

Welcome to the Leading Lane podcast for Real Estate Pros by Real Estate Pros, with your hosts, Ashley Frederick and Steven Burch. If you're looking for an honest, authentic, and raw perspective, you found it. We kind of started it. And I always. I think this is going to be. My theme is just throwing people under the bus after we get done with, like, a serious one. Yeah. This is the second time he's done this now, so I have no idea what he's about to say either. Did you see her, like, get. Move her shoulders and then fix her hair? She's like. That's her nervous thing. Yep. We. I do, too. Like, my ears typically or whatever. So let's reflect back. Almost a year we all were in Cabo. And Heidi, you just shared that. Like, you wouldn't have been able to do this back then. No. What. What. What were your. Your limiting beliefs? What was the story that you were telling yourself? Like, why couldn't you do that? I didn't know how. I didn't even know that was an option. Like, I was. I came to Cabo needing to restart my real estate business, and I had this little project. Like, I. I wanted to do it. I didn't know what it could do. I just. I just wanted to share it. I just want to share it for free. To be very honest with you. I wanted. I wanted people to know about this. And I got to Cabo, and you guys all looked at me and said, you're freaking crazy. Who cares about your real estate business? This needs to go viral and needs to go worldwide. And I'm like, a world. World domination was your word. It's still in my book. Like, that changed. I didn't know I could even do this. I didn't even know that this was a possibility, let alone, like, why would I. Why would anybody listen to me on a webinar? Why would even consider doing a webinar? So going to Cabo and hearing those options and meeting people that understood how to do some of that stuff because they've done it before and said, hey, this is really valuable. You could do this. That was what changed. Not even the limiting beliefs, but just the idea that this could be done. And then it got into the limiting. Like, I'm not good enough. I'm not pretty enough. Nobody wants to look at this on video. Nobody wants to hear what I have to say. I don't. I'm not an attorney. I'm, you know, getting rid of all of that in your head. That's really changed this. And then the More I've done this. The. It's like second nature. Like I didn't even think about it today until like 9 o'. Clock. I'm like, oh crap, I gotta make sure my office is clean and I can sit down and talk to Steven and Ashley. Like. Right,. So that's really where that came from. Like just the confidence that you guys have given me and the ideas that have, have they've gotten to fester a little bit and grow. That's where that's come from. Do you, do you feel that because of the path that you have went on, like, obviously this is still an emotional thing to you, right? This is, that's, that's something that's absolutely never going to go away, in my opinion. I don't think right for, for any of us. But you share with me like how emotional this is and you know, telling the story and you know, like kind of give me a disclaimer before you even started. Like, what if I cry? Well, but look how confident that you, you are now. Your, your, your poise about you as a total. And you know, I, I think it's great that you would cry. Right? Like not, not that I want to make you cry or anything. Um, but no, that you know, like you are true and raw and I think that if we all. But if you stayed stuck, quote unquote, and in not believing that you could do this or not knowing that you could do this, you know, you would still be bottled up. And that's something that I look at is that yes, you're sharing your story to help others, but really I think this has helped you. Oh, it's helped me immensely. It's. It's given me a different way to grieve in a way that makes sense to me. I'm a. You guys have gotten to know me. Everything is literally on my shirt sleeve. My heart's there. My. I can't hide. There's nothing, there is nothing secret about me. Even when I think I'm bottled down and someone's like, hey, you need to come back out and play with us, you know, so it's really helped me grieve in a different way and realize that it's okay to continue to grieve. Sometimes we think that grief should be done in a certain timeline and it really isn't. Ashley, I shared earlier that this week is our five year anniversary of Jerry's death and it's actually all falling on the same days that it happened. So Monday would have been the day that we came back, which was April 1st from the next home conference. And we, you know, like, I know tonight we would have been out for drinks because all of our snowbirds are coming back to town. I know what tomorrow night would have. What we were doing, like, these days because of that Sunday, these days are all, like, in stone. And like, last weekend we were. I was out because all the snowbirds were home. You know, some of that timeline is a little bit off because of the holiday and stuff like that, But Sunday will be the day that he died, and it's on Sunday. So it's like, what am I going to do that day? Like, there's all this grief anticipation kind of things coming up, and how are we going to handle that? And so that's where that kind of, like, that kind of come up. And then Tuesday's my daughter's birthday. That's the day that I was sitting in the bank's office, was her birthday. You know, so it's all right there. It hits really different this year, and I just haven't been able to decide how it's going to really roll out yet. And that's one of the things that I know I can't plan. Like, you can't plan that. And then. Then you add the other layer of I have a boyfriend. Like, how do you deal with all that? You know, so in. When I was in Vegas and she handed me that box of tissues, and I didn't realize what was going on until I saw that I'm like, I got this. Like, once I realized it's okay if I tear up and someone, you know, nobody really cares, the tears went away and I'm like, I'm okay. Like, that's. That's where that's all changed. Like, realizing that it's okay if I do tear up has been the bigger reliever of stress than. Than ever before. Sure, sure. You know, people are more relatable because they understand that it. It's still raw, it's still emotions. And I mean, I think, you know, for coming up, I just do your day. You'll, you know, you'll conquer the days like you always have. And there'll be, I'm sure, you know, high moments, low moments, but, you know, that's all part of the process that you deserve too. Right. And I've always believed in. I've always believed through many. I mean, I've had a lot of losses in my life. I've always believed those lives deserve to be celebrated and not mourned. Yes. We still have a little mourning because we miss them. But their lives truly deserve a celebration because they brought something really great to ours. Right? So I do believe that full heartedly and it's been proven right over and over and over again. So I just haven't found that way to celebrate this Sunday yet. Like it'll come, you know, sometimes it comes up that day and it's the best day ever. Right? Last minute plans are always the best. But that's. So I'm just working towards that I guess is, huh, what's that going to look like? I just don't. So sometimes you have a plan, sometimes you don't. This year I don't have a plan. And there's, there's nothing wrong with that. And you know, I, I truly try to look at the, the positive of everything and just look at the, you know, from something so tragic and you know, in your life that happens and you still continue to move on. You work through that and you then invested your, into yourself to go to, you know, a mastermind and then know from now a year later going from I don't think I can do this to here you are on national stages and on podcasts and interviews and being able to go all these different places. Right. Like you're taking something and turning it into a positive, trying to help people and look how many more lives that you're impacting by what you are doing and sharing your story. And so my goal was originally just to keep us local in Bismarck. I never thought it would go to Kansas or to Wisconsin or to North Carolina or Vegas. Mexico. Yeah, or Mexico. Like I just never, that was not even, it wasn't even a blip on my radar, truly. Like I just didn't think that was possible. I'm a, I'm a small town girl, so maybe there were some limiting beliefs. I'm a small town girl. I live in a big city of Bismarck, North Dakota compared to where I grew up. I have a great network here. I just wanted to make a difference in that network. I wasn't looking for a bigger stage originally and then it just popped up and it grew from there. And so yeah, there were some limiting beliefs I didn't realize. But again, it's, you know, it's crazy that it's, it's such a needed thing all across the country. Absolutely. You know, I, I think that from, for all of us, you know, we all have had limiting beliefs and there, there's so many different things and we all, all have come from small town rural America, you know, type of location. I mean, so Like, I think that because we have a group that we really connected with there in Cabo and powerful people of being able to lift each other up more than we can lift ourselves up at the time. And, you know, I think that's, you know, my point of being able to continue the, the positivity and making sure you're there, the human connection and surrounding yourself by. With those people that, um, are going to push you into the right direction. And sometimes you don't see what that direction is yet and you need that little shove over and recorrect correction of the direction you're going. So I remember correctly, someone wasn't going to work with agents. And I believe I'm your first agent on board. Yeah, yeah. No, I mean, and even with that, like, even with my consulting, right, Like, I went to Cabo with the only thought of being, you know, working with brokers, period. And that's all I wanted to work with. Well, I mean, how to be an agent in order to be a broker, right? Like, I teach agents all day, every day in my own company. Why wouldn't I help, you know, agents? So you just don't see those things. Like, you sometimes have those blinders on and you again, need the people to be like, hey, yo. Like it's right there in front of you. You know, dig up the ca a little bit. Let's go. You have to, you have to rebuild anything. It's already pretty much in place. Yep, absolutely. Why wouldn't you. You're missing out on, on a bigger, smaller, but bigger chunk, like. Absolutely. So, Ashley, so what were your. In Cabo? Let's, let's go there. What were your impressions of Heidi then versus now? Well, like I said, we immediately hit it off. So. Yeah, what happened first? She's a lot of fun. We're definitely going to get along. I think that, you know, for me it's always been, we've talked about it, like a struggle with other women, you know, because if there aren't other confident women, you know, an immediate, you're, you know, not going to talk to you. We're not going to. And I just loved that as soon as I met you, we connected. And so obviously I knew you had confidence already, but, you know, one, it's even telling your story. I remember that telling your story was, you know, a very emotional time the first time, but it was, you know, so much of that limiting belief that you didn't think that anybody wanted to hear it or that you'd be able to help anyone, you know, or that it was just going to be, you know, locally. And you know, part of that mastermind was that, you know, other people had to give you suggestions and you couldn't say no during that time frame. But like, same with Steven when like, no, no single agents, no cogent, no coaching for agents, he couldn't say no and he had to listen to it, you know, and I think that same thing for you, like, I think you have to imagine that that was very eye opening for you as well, to hear what other people thought, you know, just listening to you for 20 minutes. You know, I think the best part over the last year has just been watching your confidence, you know, one in the presentation. And sure, sometimes you tear up, sometimes you don't. Either way, it doesn't matter. But I think every single time you hear the story, I hear something a little bit different or it's just, you know, comes across differently because you're getting so confident in telling the story. But same thing, I don't think that I could have. Even if we would have told you that you're going to be on a stage, you know, 11 months later, you'd have been like, yeah, right, not happening. I, you know, and I think we, we briefly kind of threw it out at you and you're like, haha funny and you know, here we are. And so to me it's just really being able to watch someone do a 180 of their own growth. But I, it goes back to, right, the people that you surround yourself with. So not just this group, but people that you have back at home that I know are very supportive, have let you do those workshops with them. So for me, I hope that it's just been extremely eye opening for you what value you do have. I mean, and you know, I think that like what you mentioned was like changing one person's life. I mean, you're going to change way more than one person's life. Like the amount of people that I've just talked to about it that had no inklings or had no plans, like, I'm just hopeful, right, that I can help one. So if we're all doing that, I mean, even for Ben and I, right, like we've changed. I mean, we still have stuff to figure out, but I just don't think that sometimes you realize how big your impact really is. And it's just the more and more you get to tell your story and get to do the online things, like, I mean, you're, you're literally changing people's lives. It's been So I did a couple presentations or seminars. I don't have the right word for that yet, but. But I've done a couple of presentations prior just to practice my story before going to the next home stage. And that was super eye opening. I'm a member of different widow groups, and I've gone to different widow groups here in town. And we've all, you know, they're all a little bit different, different age groups and all that, just hearing their stories. Cause everybody has a story, no matter what it is either way, just hearing some of those stories. And, you know, one gal's my age, and she has two estranged children that have nothing to do with her now after their dad died. So it's very like just seeing her go through that. And because they didn't agree with her, with what their plans were, because they didn't have that conversation with their daughters, you know, just some of that just has just reinforced that this needs. This needs to move forward. Like, this really does need to go. It needs to, like, not launch. It just needs to, like, rocket launch. So I love it. And I think, like. Like, I see you, like, for people, like, as a beacon of. Right. So, right. One, you're gonna. You're gonna change the people that haven't had to deal with it yet. But like you said, if it's other widow groups or whatnot that have seen how far you've come and things that you're still doing with your lives, and now you're trying to take that bad experience and turn it into something helpful, like, that's just gonna bring up all those people, too, that have been struggling. Right. The launch for me for this, what's kind of said was I was visiting with a friend who does that, who does energy reading and stuff like that. We were visiting and she was doing a house cleanse while we were talking, like, via Zoom, and she's cleansing my house and doing all this stuff, and she goes, have you ever heard the terms take your misery? Misery into magic or misery into mission? I can't remember the exact words. And I remember thinking, not everybody's misery turns into something helpful or hopeful, but. Or is that really what everybody wants to hear is my story and my sob story? Or maybe I'm just asking for all this grief. And then as it kind of sat with me for a while, and as you think about things or pray about them or let them just. I like the word fester. You know, sit back here and grow. It was more about, yes, it was my misery, and, yes, I can turn into something. But then it became a mission. And then to talk, just to talk about it every day. Who can I share this with and see if it would actually grow? And then as it grow, as it continued to grow, then it turned into this big mission. And then all of a sudden it was like this passion project. And all of a sudden you guys are like, oh, no, girl, this is going worldwide. And I'm like, well, then it's no longer a passion project. Like, but I can still keep that close to my heart because it's still mine. Like, it's something that I've watched build and it's making a difference already. I can see it and feel it. And I've gotten conversations back. Thank you for doing this. And that's been the catalyst to keep it moving. You know, it would be so easy just to send out that email drip and just be done and okay, let's put you on that. But then I realized I don't like that way of doing things. I'd rather have a dashboard that I can interact and see how this works for everybody and continue to, to see you go through this instead of, okay, here's the workbook by, you know, I don't like that part of it. I want to, I want to make sure that you're getting what you need out of it too. So getting the value realization. Yeah. And I think that, you know, we said impact one person's life, like, then. And that's something I constantly say too, but for the work that you're doing, like that one person that's working with you, that one person that's doing that one workbook, it's all the family members and everybody else around that you're impacting. So that ripple effect, like you literally took a stone and threw it in the pond and created this huge ripple effect just based off of one document, one workbook. Right. And so that impact is one piece of that workbook. Absolutely. Makes a huge impact. Cool. Well, I won't throw you guys under the bus anymore, but I just wanted to talk about your growth. Throw him under the bus. Huh? I said, Ashley, do we get to throw him under the bus? You can always throw me under. Do it. I love it. It's my favorite thing ever. Quick witted. Hold on. No, but I think all of us really have. We've grown so much. I agree. So much. And so I, I thank you, both of you ladies, for being a part of my journey and helping me grow as well. And, you know, being people to be able to test things out. On and whatnot. So I'm excited for our future. I can't wait to see Mittens is all up in you. I can't wait to see you guys again someday soon. Like, we have to figure that out one of these days. 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