You Can't Do It All - And You Shouldn't Try

I used to feel like I had to do everything all myself because I was a control freak and nobody could do it as good as me and, U know, all of these different stories that I was telling myself. So what I ultimately did was I didn't rest after these types of events, and I would continue to go and, U know, I wake up in the morning and feel like I have to hurry up and rush to the next thing and just so I can fit everything or cram everything in to a day into a week, into the month. Yeah, I can do that anywhere, Right. So I quickly realized. Well, maybe not quickly. Took me a little bit to realize that, U know, what if I are actually to find people that I can surround myself around with and, U know, they actually work towards my weaknesses, and it's their strengths. Welcome to the Leading Lane Podcast for Real Estate Pros by Real Estate Pros, with your hosts, Ashley Frederick and Steven Burch. If you're looking for an honest, authentic, and raw perspective, U found it. All right, Good morning, everyone, and welcome back to the Leading Lane Podcast. We are fresh off of a week at our conference in New Orleans, which was during Mardi Gras. So it had its own interesting parts, but lots of conversations that were had, U know, in the evenings during the days. Lots of topics that will help feed our pipeline here for a little bit with some topics. But a question that Stephen and I both got were kind of, how do U do it all? More or less, U know, seeing online that you're busy, which. That's just part of it, right? They're seeing what they see online. But a lot of people are, U know, theft by comparison, right? Thief of joy by comparison. So they're just trying to compare and compare, and I think that in itself can be a problem. So let's just open up that can of U do it all, Steven, how do U do it all? Well, U know, I don't know how many times I got asked that last week. And first of all, I have to say that it's exhausting being around people all of that all the time. Right? Like, I love people, but that's a lot of peopling and it's a lot of things to go. So I actually booked out my entire week this week of not doing anything. I got sick. So mine inadvertently turned into that. Right. Like, but I think it's. It's important to recognize that it's so great to go to those events and spend time with people, but also to recognize that U have to take the time for yourself and for me, like, I need to recharge. I need my own quiet space. I don't need to be around people. But the answer question how do I do it all? You know, back in the day, I used to feel like I had to do everything all myself because I was a control freak and nobody could do it as good as me. And, U know, all of these different bullshit stories that I was telling myself. So what I ultimately did was, was I didn't rest after these types of events and I would continue to go and, U know, I wake up in the morning and feel like I have to hurry up and rush to the next thing and just so I can fit everything or cram everything in to a day into a week, into the month. Yeah, I can do that anymore. Right. So I quickly realized. Well, maybe not quickly. Took me a little bit to realize that, U know, what if I are actually to find people that I can surround myself around with and, U know, they actually work towards my weaknesses and it's their strengths. So one of the great books, and I know that we've talked about it before, it's the force multiplier. I believe it's the founder and the Something, another force multiplier. I have to look it up. But it talks about how U need to be able to put these other individuals on your team to amplify and multiply what U are extremely good at. And for me, even though I say people are exhausting, I'm great at working with people. Um, so how do I get these tedious things? In my opinion, the tedious things, but in somebody else's eyes, maybe the fun things that they love to be able to do so I can go ahead and like, now what I do is I build it up or have the idea and then I delegate it and fold it into somebody else's role, um, so that it appears that I'm doing it all. I'm the face of it all, if U will. But I make sure that I always say that my, My team makes me look damn good. They're the ones that are behind the scenes making everything actually happen. And they have to deal with all my. My craziness and me shifting all over the place. So. But yeah, I don't do it all. And there's a book that somebody actually recommended to me. It's called Quit. Um, I have not read it yet, but he came up to me and kind of had this conversation at conference and he said, U know, one of the things that we have to realize and understand is that we actually have to quit a lot of things, quit doing this. Some of these things that are not serving your purpose and not serving what your mission is, even though U like to do them, but U got to quit it to be able to move forward. I'm just paraphrasing what our conversation was, but yeah, I don't do it all. Like, there's times that I'm like twiddling my thumbs, like, what, what should I be doing? And I feel kind of guilty that I not doing something, but in reality, U know, recharging myself and working on myself, working on my health, that is working on my business. So. And I know, Ashley, U get asked all the time, U know, even the assumptions of, oh, U look too busy and I didn't call U, U know, to, to list my house or to go look at this house or whatever else. But U get it as well, right? Yeah. You know, I think that it comes to like, right. We basically started these businesses from scratch, right. So for a while there, like we did do it all. Like U had to do it all and U had to make that happen. And then I think for us in those positions, it takes time to realize that like U can start to hand some of these things off. And it's kind of to your point of there are things that I don't like to do or that I don't think are, U know, if we break it down with our scale of, U know, your, your worth per hour. Right. Like me doing some of these tedious things just didn't make sense anymore. You have to get to a point where U can acknowledge that and then find other people that love to do those things. Right. And so again, it's about building out the, the right team. I actually literally just said to Caitlin this morning that I feel super bored right now. And it's probably because we're in this weird market shift of like just about spring, it's probably going to snow again. Right. So it's kind of strange here. I mean, sure, I'm bored, but I also said like, I wrote an offer, I got an offer yesterday, but that's boring for me. Like as far as it's. I like to do more than that. Right. Like, I remember the days of code word and U wrote like 10 offers a day. Right. So it is the. That weird part of U have put so many systems in place that it ends up running like a well oiled machine. But on the outside, people just think that that's U continuously, U know, to do it all. Like, I always think too it's funny because Caitlin will do a lot of my Facebook posts, and then I'll be like, well, I was home sick yesterday, but, yeah, U were, like, busy on Facebook. And I was like, yep, okay, so it wasn't necessarily me. Right? So people, like, have this assumption, same thing for U. I know that, U know, U have someone help U with your social media. So I think that's what people have to remember, is that just what they see, U know, isn't necessarily all reality. And if we have all of our systems set into place, yes, that is one of my biggest pet peeves, that people are like, oh, U were traveling, or U look so busy with your recent sales, I just called someone else. I'm always like, that makes, like, zero sense to me. Like, U could have called first and been like, hey, I know you're normally busy, but do U have time? And like, I don't know. Like, I look at my calendar and I was like, I don't know. Like, yeah, two appointments today. Like, U know, I'll fill it with stuff, but one appointment tomorrow, U know? So I think it's just funny again that people get stuck in this mind shift of thinking people are too busy for them when in all reality, I guess I always like to be like, don't U want to work with the busy people? Like, I want to work with the busy people. I want to work with the people that are. That are in the know, that are boots on the ground, that have all of those things readily available to them. So I think the biggest point is, right, how U do it all, is U don't, U know, once U get to a certain level, it's being able to get those right people. And we've also talked about sometimes U realize that the right people aren't in place, and U have to make. Be willing to make those changes, too. I think that, U know, U and I talk to a lot of people, and it's a lot easier as an outsider looking into someone's business to be like, that doesn't make sense. I mean, you've done that to me, right? And we've made changes, but U have to be willing to make those changes. So, U know, U know, I have had conversations with people that we both told them, like, that that looks problematic, that might cause extra stress. And sometimes it takes people six months to get to that point of being able to remove whatever that is. I think, U know, U make a good point about the quitting, or for me, it's more of the saying, no, I think It's a matter of really, too, as U grow, finding the things that bring U joy. And I've removed myself from a lot of organizations. It feels really weird because, again, like, that filled a lot of my time, which, again, people probably think I'm. My time is filled working with those organizations where I've taken a step back. And again, it's weird. Like, it's this weird wall of. But I'm also okay. Like, God, I remember, like, a year ago, I would have been stressing about getting 100 baskets and all those types of things, right? And when it just doesn't feel U the same, and when U do really want to work on your craft, whether that's, U know, specifically in real estate or SPE or whatnot, U have to find that time that you're willing to invest more into yourself. I think that's the other thing that we talked about is, U know, over the last week, it's like the people's kind of excuses, right? Like, I heard a lot of that, and it just shows to me, like, some of those people really do need someone in their corner to call them out. A lot of people want to be better, do better, but they're kind of just stuck in this pattern of, I think, waiting for someone to pull them out of it when in all reality, like, U typically have to pull yourself out of it. But U make a good point of, U know, if you're not willing to invest in yourself, how are your clients supposed to invest in U? And I think that that's where people get stuck is, U know, they're just doing status quo. They want to get to the next level, but they just won't invest. And I guess, U know, what are, what are your thoughts or intake as far as not investing in yourself? You know, I think that the first step is U have to look in the mirror on. On everything, right? And. And that's. You have to have that realization yourself. And one of the things I've learned is that U have to be able to get whoever you're talking to on the other side to be able to speak it. So it actually becomes true. We can point fingers, we can tell all day long, we can show all day long, but until that they actually speak the truth and have that realization themselves, they're not. You're not going to change. So I think it's that, U know, first step is being able to admit it, but also it's. It's this thing of like, oh, I can't afford to hire a coach. Oh, I Can't go, U know, afford to be able to, U know, go to this workshop or whatever else. Like, all bullshit excuses, right? Like these. These things that people are saying. And, U know, there are, of course, legitimate things that are happening, but, U know, when. When U see these individuals, U know, post on, U know, going all these vacations or partying every weekend or, U know, all of these different things that, like, cool. Well, in reality, it's just not a priority for U. And so because it's not a priority, like, U are not realizing that U need to be able to do it, U understand something needs to shift. So I think investing in yourself is the number one thing that U can do. Um, changing your actions and changing your methods and, U know, procedures and, U know, all U have. Like, if U want to change an organization or U want to change a team or U want to be able to impact others around U, the very first step is yourself. And so I have a really hard time, and I get really passionate about, U know, when. When we talk to people about doing these different types of things and they continuously give us these bullshit excuses. Um, really, I'm kind of now to the point, like, cool, I'm just gonna remove U off of my list because I'm not gonna waste my time. I see it in U. You deserve to be here, but the ball is in your court. And not that that is a sales tactic by any means. I guess it kind of is. But, like, in reality, I'm not giving U my energy if you're not willing to give the same energy that I'm providing U to yourself. And I think that being exclusive like that and being a little aggressive with it, I know my personality is different than a lot of people's, but that's what people need to hear. People need to hear the cold, hard truth. And I don't know what movie is if U. If U can't handle the truth, right? Whatever it is, like, yeah, but like, U. You like Robert De Niro or. I. Can see it in, like, in the courtroom. Yeah, but, yeah, like, it's extremely wild to me that, oh, I want it, but here's my excuse. Oh, I can't change. Here's my excuse. And, U know, like, the. The thing that I used to tell myself all the time, because I used to be one of those people. I used to, U know, oh, no, nobody can do it as good as me. I don't need the help, right? Like, I'll figure it out myself. I can't afford it, right. If it's something I truly want, even if I can't afford it. There's a way. If there is a will, there is a way. There's credit cards, there's payment plans. There's. How can U make, U know, can U switch or can U trade in. In real estate, we're in the world of negotiation. And people in those seats that are complaining or whatever, like, they're not even negotiating. They're just, oh, let me just go on to the. To the next one, and let me continue this lifestyle of bitching and complaining like crazy. Well, and I think the other thing of that too, is, like, right. Like with coaching or whatever, it might be something that's gonna improve what you're doing. Right. Like, U. My intentions are always that, like, U increase your sales, right? So, like, by having more sales, that's the ability to pay off those credit cards or whatever so that it paid off your investment. You know, one thing I was trying to think of, like, calculating as far as going to a work conference, like, if we heard a lot about being cost prohibitive, which I definitely understand. There is a cost of travel and hotel rooms and the conference itself. You know, one thing I encouraged one of my agents, my office, was to look at that over a. A yearly basis. So I think I guesstimated, like, let's say it's $2,500. Right. I tried to do the math of what it might be for flights, a couple nights in a hotel room, the conference ticket, $2,500 divided by 12. Just over $200 a month. So, U know, if U look at your spending, and that's just to say, like, maybe U. You can't put away for one month, but then one month U have three great closings and U could put away for six months. Right. Maybe that's something that U work out with your brokerage. Like, hey, can U help. Help hold these funds for me so that I can't touch them? I think that we could just try to get creative of, U know, am I willing to put aside $200 a month to potentially go to a conference, meet a new referral source that I didn't have before, go to a breakout, learn something new that I didn't learn before that changes the trajectory of my business? I think, U know, getting focused on. It's just a big number versus the outcome of what can happen. And I mean, example, right? Like, we met at a conference. Yep. What if I wouldn't have gone to that or U. I hadn't gone to that conference, like, we wouldn't be here having these discussions. So it's just amazing the people that, that U meet, U know, throughout this time of, of conferences and get togethers and people can literally change the trajectory of your life if you're willing to put yourself out there. I mean, let's even break the 200 down even further. 200 Divided into days, right? Like it rounded up $7 a day. You know, that is someone's Starbucks order, right? That's a, that's a Starbucks order. That's a cocktail. That's, U know, like, look at all the different things. That truly is. That's an order off sheen, right? Like, figure this out. If U really want it, you're going to figure out a way to be able to invest in yourself and actually show up and be there. And I shared on one of the Facebook groups about utilizing your credit card properly and making sure that U have points. And if, I mean, we spend a lot of money to run a brokerage and to run our own businesses, so why not actually, U know, make money off of that or utilize the points off of it to, to be able to pay for the flights or the hotel. Like, figure out how can U, U know, max leverage, right? Like, it's, it's a bullshit excuse that people are telling themselves. Well, and I did that, U know, not only for the company, but on like my personal, like as a, as a realtor, right? Like everything that I'm spending. So, U know, if U were to talk to people in banking, there is a lot of fraud now in checks, right? A ton of fraud and checks. And I used to write a lot of checks between the photographer, the newspaper, all those types of things. I switched them all over to my miles card, right? And it's just accumulating miles so that whether we want to travel personally or for work, I got a boatload of miles that I can just take out for that. And it's just leveraging your money is what it is versus paying those same exact things and getting nothing out of it. Well, and I don't know about U, when I first started, I was not the best about categorizing my expenses. No. You know, everything would just basically go on one and then I would have to go through at the end of the year and try to be like, is this personal? Is this, U know, on the professional side, like, what side is this? Now if U, if U think about that and U run all your expenses through your credit card, there is your full expense, U know, I mean, gas even, right? Like gas on that credit card only, like, I didn't have to pull out every receipt or whatnot. It's all on that credit card. Like, a bookkeeper knows that everything. And every now and then, right, I'll try to get some bonus out of something that personal that we're gonna buy. But then I know, like, hey, this was a personal purchase, but we used it on this card, right? But again, it's just making your money work for U versus just spending it and not having it invested somewhere. But I think that's just something for people to think about is I remember when we first started talking to a financial advisor, and he wanted us to put a hundred dollars a month away. And I was like, no, U know, it's really funny. This is probably like seven years ago. And so then I made them automatically withdraw because I was like, if I just don't see it, better idea for me. So again, think of something like that. Like, what if U just set it up with your bank? That $10 a day gets moved into a savings account, right? And I had that discussion with an agent too. Like, it's. It doesn't have to be that you're putting thousands and thousands of dollars away, but if U started with $10 a day and now U can go to a conference or U started with, U know, $50 a month and U put that away for a weekend away, like, it's just when you're not actually spending it at once or thinking about just seems to accumulate and you're like, oh, look at that. I do have all of that there,. You know, a really good book. And for this topic right here is the profits first book, right? Like, I mean, it literally goes through about how. What percentage U should be pulling from every check into which account, and then basically hiding those accounts so U can't see them, or having them in a different bank so U don't have the want or the little ick to go spend really quickly. Like, making it to where you're almost tricking yourself. Like, U know, how U tick, U know, like, at least. I mean, I know if the money is there, I'm gonna see it. And I'm like, ooh, let's go swipe. Let's go have a big fun day, U know, type of thing. But if I see that it's limited and I see that, U know, I need a hustle and I need to. I know I need to make X amount of dollars for my bills, U know what I'm not going to do, I'm gonna put my Ass in gear and I'm gonna run for it. So if your brain is wired like mine, trick yourself. And yes, U know in the back of your mind that U have these other accounts, but U know, U set those up for a reason and U can't see them. So you're not going to automatically run and pull those numbers or pull the, those funds out of there. So yeah, we actually started the profit first account I think maybe two years ago and we put some extra money in there like when we weren't paying our rent, when we were kind of in the in between or whatnot. And then we had an opportunity that a bank was held in a special for like a 5% CD for eight months. And I was like, literally just took the money out of our savings account, put it in that cd, letting it grow for seven months, like. Right. It's just money that we're trying to make money and trying to make profit. So we can still add to that, but by using the profit first, I mean, that's helping us up. So if we want to make a change at the office or if we want to do something, U know, really big or something like we have the ability to do that because we, or just consciously putting away of each check. And again, like, where did U learn all of that from? Well, U told me to read the book and then I read the book. But like I, I learned from a conference and another person. Right. Like, and so this is the trickle effect of how U go in because you're investing in yourself. Like U invested in working one on one with me. And that was a recommendation that I had for U. You have to have these investments into yourself for professional development and personal development so that U can then see that impact roll over onto your business side. Well, I think the other part of that is there is a recommendation, but U also have to do the follow through. Yeah. I mean, because. Right. We make recommendations to people a lot and then U see them like six months later and it's the same situation. And U know, I think that is more or less what we talk about is people just get in their own way, like over and over and over again. And it's the simplest things that we, we tell ourselves that they're not going to answer their phone because they're too busy. Well, I think even, U know, U met, U mentioned something about being left on unread and we're in sale, U know, I'm doing, I don't always leave U on unread. Just when I'm like really Sick. But anyway, like, and I had to tell Ryan that too. So like they're either at volleyball and she doesn't want to tell me or she really is sick. So. But no, like, even after this follow up, U know, leaving a conference and U know, I'm going to call people out right now, like, I'm not going to call U out by name, but every single person at that conference is in sales trying to sell something. And when, U know, I was, I'm reaching out, doing my follow up and saying, hey, it was great connecting with U. You expressed interest into this, U know, event this, U know, the broker fast track retreat. How would U like to move forward? Crickets. Crickets. And so like the only thing that my mind can go to is either U don't have enough balls to say, no, I'm not interested, or two, this is exactly the reason why your production and your units are lacking and you're not being profitable because U actually have people reaching out to U and U don't even have the common courtesy, the decency to make a response or say, hey, see your message, I'm busy, give me a little bit of time and I'll follow back up with U regardless if it's yes or no. So I, I just think it's kind of just crazy to me of we're in sales, we about that we aren't doing well enough or whatever the case may be. But U can't pick up the phone, U can't respond to a message. Maybe U got people literally knocking on your door and you're just not, you're not willing to get your ass off the couch and open the door. Well, and I'll be honest, like I had a situation. Sometimes I think we also, we assume that we know why someone's reaching out. So. Right. I was super sick on Tuesday, like down and out, right? Not a good day. So a lot of phone calls I just didn't take because I knew mentally I wouldn't be able to take them. But I missed, I missed a voicemail that didn't come through until the next day. And it was a realtor from New York that was calling with a referral, right? And like my heart sank because, U know, it'd been more than 24 hours. So I called and she was like, no, I completely understand that people are busy and here's information. So like, still got it. That worked out, right? But another person had called and just had a missed call. And like normally they call for a donations. So I was like, I'll I'll call them back. I'm sure they want the donation that we normally do every year. Called again, like, later on in the day, but I was on a call, so I was like, that's strange. So then he called again on Wednesday morning, and I was like, literally made sure that I was in a place I could answer it. And nope, they had referred me to someone that was looking to sell their house. Right. So thankful that they know that I'm good for it. And he's like, I thought it was strange. And he's like, now I know that you're sick. It makes sense, but same thing, right? Like, I just assumed that calling for what they normally call with. So it is. You know, our. Our phones are our lifelines, and sometimes they can be tiring, but as long as we take a minute to realize that that's what literally brings us money at the end of the day and U do miss a call, U know, try to call it back. But if U leave people on unread, likely they're going to move on within a short amount of time. It's really funny because now that U said it this, I didn't really realize it at the time, but one of our. Our staff could not go to the conference. And so there was an agent that I knew would really benefit from it, an outside company and a different brokerage within the same franchise. So I called him. They went to voicemail. I was like, hey, give me a call back. He called me back probably about 20 minutes later, and he was like, oh, my God. I didn't recon. I didn't have the number saved. And from Kansas. And I was like, who is this? And I didn't answer. And then he was like, then I heard your voice. Then I knew I was in trouble because when U were here, U said if U have every single buyer that was looking to ever buy their name and phone number in your phone, U would have no issue. Right? Like, but so why are we trying to, like, go ahead and field these calls and screen them? Even some of the stuff that comes across as potential spam, that's not true. Like, a lot of them aren't, right? Like, yeah, really? Bam. Just hang up. Right? I mean, sorry, not interested. Thank U. Bye. Click. Yeah. What does it hurt? Like, at least answer the freaking phone. And that gets U into the habit versus U just pushing it aside and not giving the other person on the other side the common decency. Well, and I always say, too, like, we. We always talk about how some of our closest friends are out of a real estate transaction, right? Many my close friends came out of a real estate transaction. Like, what great human did we miss adding into our lives because we didn't take that call. I think that's great. Didn't take the call. I didn't show up for myself. Didn't invest to go to that workshop. Didn't invest to go to that conference. There's so many opportunities that are literally right there that can change the entire future of yourself, of your business, and how it can lead U to the next opportunity. Awesome. I couldn't agree more. All right, great talk. Tune in next time. And as always, if U have any topics or U would like to be a guest, please reach out. We would love to hear from U. If you've enjoyed today's episode, please, like, subscribe and share with others. Stay connected for more genuine insights and strategies to boost your real estate career on Facebook or check out our website. We'll see U next time.